Politics? Sounds Interesting, I Just Don't Care...
I don’t care about politics. In fact this past year was the first time I ever voted. The only reason I voted is because my mom threatened to kill me if I didn’t. I told her I was exercising my freedom to not give a crap. So I went and clicked the George W. Bush button. Of course once I voted, I got all competitive about it and ended up staying up all night to make sure my team won. Then I find out that Bush lost in my state by about 40 percentage points - I could’ve been home watching a college basketball game, instead I’m yelling my name at an old person for 10 minutes to let me into a voting booth.
People like to bring up the Iraqi elections and say that it really teaches us a lesson that 60% of those morons went out to vote under the fear of death. Well to be honest, if I had been oppressed for decades, I’d probably want to vote too. Fact is, I haven’t been, so the novelty is not there. And if someone told me there was a 40% chance of getting blown up on my way to the polls by some pissed off renegade with a brainwashed agenda, I’d certainly stay home. Actually, I’d probably relocate.
Voting for Baseball All-Stars? Now that’s important. That has much more of an impact on my life than the President does. I watch baseball almost everyday for a 6 month period, I only watch the President when they make fun of him on the Daily Show. From what I understand he is not the sharpest tool in the shed, but in my opinion, that might be the best kind of President. Not smart enough to think ahead to all the possible repercussions, “they bombed us? We bomb them, their families and their neighbors…end of story. What? UN and EU…you disagree? Oh, that’s a shame… Bugger off.” (Not an exact quote)
Sorry, I know I said I don’t care about politics, I guess that’s why I like this President - he doesn’t seem to care about politics either. They asked a poll question this past election: “Would you rather your Presidential candidate win the election, or your favorite team win a championship?” I have to say, I’m closer to the latter. When your sports team wins, there is this illogical and ridiculous sense of accomplishment like somehow you had something to do with this magnificent feat. You feel a connection to men that will never know your name or care about you. You buy memorabilia and paraphernalia symbolizing your insane obsession with these athletes who you know so much about. You memorize stats and percentages so that you can impress people you talk to with how much you know about Derek Jeter. You brag and tease your buddies as if you yourself reached this accolade. This is wholly irrational.
However, this is a GREAT irrational feeling and obsession, and it inspires us men and drives us and gives us a reason to go on. That is far more important than who gets to decide about gay marriage. Seriously, gays want to marry? OK, go ahead. Unless you plan on instituting a law that says we all HAVE to marry gays, this does not affect me enough to be worth them shortening a sports report to hear some gay guy whining about how he can’t wear his dream wedding dress. If he is willing to get on TV and tell the world that he traveled however many thousands of miles to Canada so that he and his boyfriend can file a joint tax return - then give the guy a break and let him get married - meanwhile, you're interrupting my memorization of how many hits per season Jeter needs to get to 3,000.
That’s all…
People like to bring up the Iraqi elections and say that it really teaches us a lesson that 60% of those morons went out to vote under the fear of death. Well to be honest, if I had been oppressed for decades, I’d probably want to vote too. Fact is, I haven’t been, so the novelty is not there. And if someone told me there was a 40% chance of getting blown up on my way to the polls by some pissed off renegade with a brainwashed agenda, I’d certainly stay home. Actually, I’d probably relocate.
Voting for Baseball All-Stars? Now that’s important. That has much more of an impact on my life than the President does. I watch baseball almost everyday for a 6 month period, I only watch the President when they make fun of him on the Daily Show. From what I understand he is not the sharpest tool in the shed, but in my opinion, that might be the best kind of President. Not smart enough to think ahead to all the possible repercussions, “they bombed us? We bomb them, their families and their neighbors…end of story. What? UN and EU…you disagree? Oh, that’s a shame… Bugger off.” (Not an exact quote)
Sorry, I know I said I don’t care about politics, I guess that’s why I like this President - he doesn’t seem to care about politics either. They asked a poll question this past election: “Would you rather your Presidential candidate win the election, or your favorite team win a championship?” I have to say, I’m closer to the latter. When your sports team wins, there is this illogical and ridiculous sense of accomplishment like somehow you had something to do with this magnificent feat. You feel a connection to men that will never know your name or care about you. You buy memorabilia and paraphernalia symbolizing your insane obsession with these athletes who you know so much about. You memorize stats and percentages so that you can impress people you talk to with how much you know about Derek Jeter. You brag and tease your buddies as if you yourself reached this accolade. This is wholly irrational.
However, this is a GREAT irrational feeling and obsession, and it inspires us men and drives us and gives us a reason to go on. That is far more important than who gets to decide about gay marriage. Seriously, gays want to marry? OK, go ahead. Unless you plan on instituting a law that says we all HAVE to marry gays, this does not affect me enough to be worth them shortening a sports report to hear some gay guy whining about how he can’t wear his dream wedding dress. If he is willing to get on TV and tell the world that he traveled however many thousands of miles to Canada so that he and his boyfriend can file a joint tax return - then give the guy a break and let him get married - meanwhile, you're interrupting my memorization of how many hits per season Jeter needs to get to 3,000.
That’s all…
posted by EDS | 2:53 PM
1 Comments:
If he wants to do before his current contract expires, 181 per year.
Of course, he could always pull a Wade Boggs and play for the Devil Rays for however long it takes him to reach 3,000.
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