The Tax on Females...
I recently was looking for the sports section in a Saturday edition newspaper and briefly caught a glimpse of the following headline - "Feminism's New Look." This immediately pissed me off because the word "feminism" usually does. I took a quick look at the group photo of all the "new look" feminists on the cover of the section to see if any were hot and when I realized they were all ugly, I moved on. But then I realized something and went right back to the cover picture. They all had long hair. Now, this really irked me for one reason.
It used to be that I could walk into a room and pick out any lesb---, I mean, any feminist in the room just by the look. The short hair, or men's clothes or whatever. But now they actually look like women. This is scary. It's like they've gone undercover so that you don't even know when it's safe to talk at work anymore. This is a bad situation. Something has to be done about it. I don't have any ideas right now, but I'm sure something will come to me.
Anyway, so obviously I didn't read the article (though I am now considering it in order to start training myself to be able to pick these people out in a group setting), but it got me thinking about feminist issues. I recently heard on TV some broads yapping about not getting paid as much at work as their equal male co-worker. In other words - 2 people same exact employment position, same education, same years experience - different salaries. Why? Different reproductive system. Makes perfect sense to me, but for some irrational reason (shocker) women don't seem to get it, so I will therefore explain.
Here is how it works. It's a very simple system.
It is actually a tax system. Woman are taxed for certain services and certain duties that they do not perform that men do perform. The form of tax is a lower salary and lower economic value to the business world. Here is what I mean:
Let's say I'm at work and a recently terminated disgruntled employee with an extra 'Y' chromosome (or whichever extra chromosome turns people into violent, half-retard rapists) comes into work with a semi-automatic and a list of demands and takes the whole place hostage. All of a sudden it somehow becomes the male's job to deal with the psycho while the women get to hide under the desks. In fact, when the professional FBI negotiator arrives on the scene, the first thing he will say to the unstable individual is, "well show us some good faith and let the women go."
Come on!!! I'm as scared as they are and my life is just as valuable, but somehow, I gotta stay behind and see this thing through to the end while the women get to waltz outside get hot soup and free therapy sessions.
Next scenario. I'm at a party or a social gathering of some kind. The white-trash degenerate 80's band that is performing on-stage uses fireworks indoors in a highly flammable environment and the whole place goes up like the Bagdhad skyline during 'shock and awe'. The men suddenly become ushers while the women and children get 'ushered' out to safety. Many, many more men will be maimed and killed than women and children. The women get grouped with the children all of a sudden in this catastrophic event scenario! Unreal!
Next situation. I'm on a cruise with my family and Hurricane Katrina's bad-ass sister in law with a deformed face starts to get pissed off in a close proximity to where the cruise ship I am contracting skin-cancer upon is currently situated. We are forced to evacuate the ship due to high waves, strong rain and the fact that the ship is suddenly going backside first into the water like in 'Titanic'. That's right.... you guessed it.... "Women and children to the rescue boats!!!" Poor me and the rest of the penis-possessing beings on board get to stand next to the captain and chef and toast to the future of our children and families. They will tell tales of our giant coconuts and bravery in this time of distress and how we saved the women and children. We will hear none of it, because our last words will be similar to those of a black guy in New Orleans, "glub, glub glub glub..."
I think you get the point. I can bring up many more scenarios, such as holding the door for someone or being the last one into a packed elevator. (Why is it that whenever I get to an entrance door - especially the really heavy ones in an office building or apartment complex - at the same time as a female, that she feels it is ok to step aside while I reach past her, open the door and hold it for her to walk through. Similarly, I could be waiting 10 minutes for the elevator in my apartment building, while holding 14 bags of groceries, yet some women will walk in 5 seconds before the elevator comes and feel as if she can just walk in before me. I'll tell you why it's ok. It's ok because they pay the tax!)
These are some of the reasons men make more and should make more than women in the same exact position. Because magically when catastrophe or emergency strikes, the very same strong-valued, hardcore femme-nazi with the short-length hair cut and the man-hating, independant, constantly pissed off attitude, becomes an innocent-looking, sweet-faced girl with pigtails and a need for protection! All of a sudden she needs a man's help. Well guess what honey, until you are willing to stand next to me in the fire and usher people out, until you begin negotiating with the hostage-taker, and until you help me put the children in the rescue boat and toast goodbye to the world as we sink together on a cruise ship, you will not make as much as I do. You will pay the "all of a sudden I need protection" tax.
This seems completely fair to me.
It used to be that I could walk into a room and pick out any lesb---, I mean, any feminist in the room just by the look. The short hair, or men's clothes or whatever. But now they actually look like women. This is scary. It's like they've gone undercover so that you don't even know when it's safe to talk at work anymore. This is a bad situation. Something has to be done about it. I don't have any ideas right now, but I'm sure something will come to me.
Anyway, so obviously I didn't read the article (though I am now considering it in order to start training myself to be able to pick these people out in a group setting), but it got me thinking about feminist issues. I recently heard on TV some broads yapping about not getting paid as much at work as their equal male co-worker. In other words - 2 people same exact employment position, same education, same years experience - different salaries. Why? Different reproductive system. Makes perfect sense to me, but for some irrational reason (shocker) women don't seem to get it, so I will therefore explain.
Here is how it works. It's a very simple system.
It is actually a tax system. Woman are taxed for certain services and certain duties that they do not perform that men do perform. The form of tax is a lower salary and lower economic value to the business world. Here is what I mean:
Let's say I'm at work and a recently terminated disgruntled employee with an extra 'Y' chromosome (or whichever extra chromosome turns people into violent, half-retard rapists) comes into work with a semi-automatic and a list of demands and takes the whole place hostage. All of a sudden it somehow becomes the male's job to deal with the psycho while the women get to hide under the desks. In fact, when the professional FBI negotiator arrives on the scene, the first thing he will say to the unstable individual is, "well show us some good faith and let the women go."
Come on!!! I'm as scared as they are and my life is just as valuable, but somehow, I gotta stay behind and see this thing through to the end while the women get to waltz outside get hot soup and free therapy sessions.
Next scenario. I'm at a party or a social gathering of some kind. The white-trash degenerate 80's band that is performing on-stage uses fireworks indoors in a highly flammable environment and the whole place goes up like the Bagdhad skyline during 'shock and awe'. The men suddenly become ushers while the women and children get 'ushered' out to safety. Many, many more men will be maimed and killed than women and children. The women get grouped with the children all of a sudden in this catastrophic event scenario! Unreal!
Next situation. I'm on a cruise with my family and Hurricane Katrina's bad-ass sister in law with a deformed face starts to get pissed off in a close proximity to where the cruise ship I am contracting skin-cancer upon is currently situated. We are forced to evacuate the ship due to high waves, strong rain and the fact that the ship is suddenly going backside first into the water like in 'Titanic'. That's right.... you guessed it.... "Women and children to the rescue boats!!!" Poor me and the rest of the penis-possessing beings on board get to stand next to the captain and chef and toast to the future of our children and families. They will tell tales of our giant coconuts and bravery in this time of distress and how we saved the women and children. We will hear none of it, because our last words will be similar to those of a black guy in New Orleans, "glub, glub glub glub..."
I think you get the point. I can bring up many more scenarios, such as holding the door for someone or being the last one into a packed elevator. (Why is it that whenever I get to an entrance door - especially the really heavy ones in an office building or apartment complex - at the same time as a female, that she feels it is ok to step aside while I reach past her, open the door and hold it for her to walk through. Similarly, I could be waiting 10 minutes for the elevator in my apartment building, while holding 14 bags of groceries, yet some women will walk in 5 seconds before the elevator comes and feel as if she can just walk in before me. I'll tell you why it's ok. It's ok because they pay the tax!)
These are some of the reasons men make more and should make more than women in the same exact position. Because magically when catastrophe or emergency strikes, the very same strong-valued, hardcore femme-nazi with the short-length hair cut and the man-hating, independant, constantly pissed off attitude, becomes an innocent-looking, sweet-faced girl with pigtails and a need for protection! All of a sudden she needs a man's help. Well guess what honey, until you are willing to stand next to me in the fire and usher people out, until you begin negotiating with the hostage-taker, and until you help me put the children in the rescue boat and toast goodbye to the world as we sink together on a cruise ship, you will not make as much as I do. You will pay the "all of a sudden I need protection" tax.
This seems completely fair to me.
posted by EDS | 9:37 AM
5 Comments:
1) If I get another fucking piece of blog spam I'm seriously going to flip the hell out.
2) Good point on the "Tax." But...here's my little slant on it. So man and a woman, same job, different salary. Here's why. Women can have kids. Clearly, men cannot. Why should a company invest equal time and money into an employee that can thoretically take 6 months off - at full pay, mind you - every year. It's a losing proposition and to compensate for this loss, wages are lower. So I guess it's sort of like paying your tax. I mean, except for the le...I mean, "feminists", who don't really have kids...unles they adopt them from China.
That was fucking brilliant. Kudos!
Wow. I understand your point about 'women and children' first. If we want equal rights, then we should physically fight off rampaging men with guns too (your first scenario), because we are physically equal. No? Oh.
Yes, we do bear the children. We do take off work in order to care for that offspring the man was 50% responsible for, and that he's not, for some inexplicable reason, not responsible for post-delivery, or hell, post emission. I could do it right now...get knocked up once a year and work sporadically but what the hell kind of sense does that make, you brainless fucking moron?
You treat your mother and female relatives with so little disregard? You sure as hell don't treat the opposite sex with any dignity. You don't have to treat us with kid gloves to treat us as fucking equals. We pay a special tax, as you put it, because men like you are idiots.
And another thing-more and more companies are letting men take off for paternity leave to raise the kid...
There are such things as bitches. If a man is holding groceries I do not waltz in front of him and steal the damn elevator. We're all fucking people. If she's a bitch, she's a bitch, but it doesn't mean the women of the world should pay a goddamn tax for it.
Women are still brutalized all over the world and you are talking about this complete and utter nonsense. I can't believe I'm even commenting on it.
hahahahahhaha... silly lesbian.
Shellie, I have to say, that was quite a rage infested rant you just went on. So much so, that I had to read it a few times to even understand what you were trying to say.
Now that I have read it a few times, I would like to ask you extend the same courtesy to me, and perhaps read the post again. You probably read it through very quickly one time, and in a rush to defend women's rights, and to scream and curse, responded too fast and too harsh. In fact, had you been calm and rational, as I was in reading your feelings, you would see that nothing you attempted to cover in your 6 poorly constructed paragraphs even remotely touched on the topic I was trying to discuss.
Now, if you would like to start a discussion on the brutalization of women across the world, or on the pains of child birth and child rearing, or perhaps even a discussion about maternity and paternity leave, I invite you to write up a coherent essay on the matter, and leave it as a comment to this post. I will gladly publish it as a post on the main page in your name. In fact, I will likely do the same with the comments you have made to this post, because in all honesty, I think it brings up a very important and different issue - the way women are treated.
My post in no way demoralizes or belittles the role of women, it is simply meant to point out a potential rationale for the difference in salary in an equal workplace amongst different genders...
OK, enough of that crap - read the introduction to the blog you retard(the part about this being a forum for entertainment), and then take a deep breath and don't be too embarassed that you got all worked up about a freakin joke article. Oh, and do you speak like that in front of your father? Because if you did, you know he'd beat the ever-loving crap out of you, right?
Jesus!
...Women... all emotion, no logic.
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