Of Pope and Poles
What do you call a person who condones child molestation by inaction, shakes hands with various communists and dictators, supports a terrorist state in the Middle East, grants audience to Nazi war criminals and yet is revered, honored and respected by a large percentage of the world’s inhabitants?
That’s right! The Pope.
Now I know this might be a rough topic, especially to those of you named after him (JP), but nonetheless, it is in the news and requires some coverage. He has been a pretty influential political figure over the last bunch of decades. However, the TV, film and marketing possibilities that can be exploited from this ultra-celebrity are endless. The Pope has suffered heart failure. This means that the heart is no longer strong enough to pump blood to the body properly. This is virtually incurable, especially when the person is 840 years old. Basically, this means the whole world is paying attention. It is time for Nike or someone to jump in and sponsor some part of this death watch.
Quite interesting to me, and perhaps a slight parallel to other recent discussions, over the last few weeks the Pope has been fitted with a breathing tube and feeding tube. He has, as some news sources call it, become a picture of suffering. Ah, religion, so cruel. The Pope asked for the story of Jesus’ crucifixion to be read to him this morning as if it was somehow comparable to the state he was in. I have an idea. Don’t want to suffer? Remove the feeding tube! Oh wait – you can’t – because over the last month or so, a million people have been screaming in your name how wrong that would be. So I say, let the Pope live. I think he should be kept on respirators, heart pumps, feeding tubes, catheters and whatever other painful medical miracles they can perform to keep a human being suffering as long as possible till his body just disintegrates around him. That would be more humane.
Here’s another interesting tidbit, and this is a good one. This can mean mucho mucho entertainment possibilities over the next week or so. You ready? Ok, here we go –
It is at this time unclear who is empowered to make medical decisions on behalf of the Pope.
Oh baby, this could be good….but wait…it gets better.
The Vatican refuses to comment whether the Pope has left any instructions in writing as to how his medical condition should be handled.
We can only hope and pray that there becomes a media frenzy much larger than the Schiavo family’s case over this scenario. The potential here is endless. I say, stick some tubes in him, prop him up, carry him out to that wonderful, superhero-like Popemobile one last time, strap him in, drive around and let him give just one last wave to the world. After that, can you say “Weekend at Bernie’s 3” – the best yet!
Ah, those crazy Poles...
- "I came to pray for the Pope," said Maria Danecka, in her 40s. "If he were to leave us, we won't have anybody to show us the way, to help us understand the world."
Of course not, this deeply religious 84 year old man who knows nothing of modernity and realism, but rather lives in a world clouded by teachings and texts thousands of years old, meant to be interpreted, but instead held as strictly unwavering can definitely help you understand today’s world. You silly, silly lunatic.
- "I have a class exam today and I was studying late last night listening to the radio," Lidia Majecka, an 18-year-old student, said after attending mass at one of Krakow's churches.
"With the constant flow of reports on the Pope's health, I couldn't concentrate. I thought this morning: what is the exam compared to the Pope's pain? So I came to pray for his health."
I’ll tell you what the exam is compared to the Pope’s pain? Indicative of your future. If the Pope is in pain, or even dies – which he will Lidia, and it will be very painful for him – your life will be affected in absolutely no way, unless you choose for it to be. Now, I’m not saying you should not grieve and feel a connection to a religious leader, but let’s remember he is a man, not a god. This is the mistake you silly Christians made in the first place. Jesus Christ! If you fail that exam, you will end up dropping out of school, moving to Vegas and living in an alley, smoking crack and selling your body for money – all because you couldn’t stop thinking about the Pope. So you see? Wasting your time worrying about the Pope’s pain is actually sacrilegious.
- "I should be at work but I wanted to come to church even for a few minutes," said Beata Laczynska, 40, tears welling in her eyes. "I had to pray for him. I couldn't work without this."
Yes you could. You just wanted to leave the brothel for an hour with some BS excuse. You could very easily work like this. Millions of people around the world are in hospitals and are in fact sick and dying. Some are in even more pain than the Pope – yet you manage to go to work every single day without shedding a tear. You are what I like to call a “person who takes advantage of the Pope’s failing medical condition in order to miss an hour of work pretending to pray for the Pope, while really bending to your knees and mumbling a prayer about the upcoming football match between your favorite team and the team that is going to kick their ass.” I know, it’s not exactly catchy.
-Warsaw's Jewish community also planned to pray for the Pope, with Chief Rabbi Michael Schudrich saying no other religious leader had done so much to reconcile Christians and Jews.
"He has done so much in the fight against anti-Semitism," he told Reuters. "Nobody has accomplished as much as him. No other religious leader from any other church has ever done this."
Ok, stop the train and let me off – You can’t be serious! The Pope? C’mon! Oh wait – it makes more sense now, I found this – “Warsaw’s Jewish community held vigil for Yassir Arafat stating that by ordering the terrorist attacks on Israeli children, Arafat was helping push the Israeli people towards peace.”
Oh, and there’s also this – “Warsaw’s Jewish community holds a forgiveness rally for Hitler saying that no other man has ever done more to establish an Independent Jewish state.”
The area of the world where the Pope is most influential, Europe, has seen more acts of hatred against Jews than anywhere else. Antisemitism and crimes of hate are up, not down over the last decade. Jewish kids in France, Germany and other European nations run like hell home from school everyday to avoid being beat up, or having swastikas carved into their skin. I haven't heard a hell of a lot about that coming from the Vatican.
That’s right! The Pope.
Now I know this might be a rough topic, especially to those of you named after him (JP), but nonetheless, it is in the news and requires some coverage. He has been a pretty influential political figure over the last bunch of decades. However, the TV, film and marketing possibilities that can be exploited from this ultra-celebrity are endless. The Pope has suffered heart failure. This means that the heart is no longer strong enough to pump blood to the body properly. This is virtually incurable, especially when the person is 840 years old. Basically, this means the whole world is paying attention. It is time for Nike or someone to jump in and sponsor some part of this death watch.
Quite interesting to me, and perhaps a slight parallel to other recent discussions, over the last few weeks the Pope has been fitted with a breathing tube and feeding tube. He has, as some news sources call it, become a picture of suffering. Ah, religion, so cruel. The Pope asked for the story of Jesus’ crucifixion to be read to him this morning as if it was somehow comparable to the state he was in. I have an idea. Don’t want to suffer? Remove the feeding tube! Oh wait – you can’t – because over the last month or so, a million people have been screaming in your name how wrong that would be. So I say, let the Pope live. I think he should be kept on respirators, heart pumps, feeding tubes, catheters and whatever other painful medical miracles they can perform to keep a human being suffering as long as possible till his body just disintegrates around him. That would be more humane.
Here’s another interesting tidbit, and this is a good one. This can mean mucho mucho entertainment possibilities over the next week or so. You ready? Ok, here we go –
It is at this time unclear who is empowered to make medical decisions on behalf of the Pope.
Oh baby, this could be good….but wait…it gets better.
The Vatican refuses to comment whether the Pope has left any instructions in writing as to how his medical condition should be handled.
We can only hope and pray that there becomes a media frenzy much larger than the Schiavo family’s case over this scenario. The potential here is endless. I say, stick some tubes in him, prop him up, carry him out to that wonderful, superhero-like Popemobile one last time, strap him in, drive around and let him give just one last wave to the world. After that, can you say “Weekend at Bernie’s 3” – the best yet!
Ah, those crazy Poles...
- "I came to pray for the Pope," said Maria Danecka, in her 40s. "If he were to leave us, we won't have anybody to show us the way, to help us understand the world."
Of course not, this deeply religious 84 year old man who knows nothing of modernity and realism, but rather lives in a world clouded by teachings and texts thousands of years old, meant to be interpreted, but instead held as strictly unwavering can definitely help you understand today’s world. You silly, silly lunatic.
- "I have a class exam today and I was studying late last night listening to the radio," Lidia Majecka, an 18-year-old student, said after attending mass at one of Krakow's churches.
"With the constant flow of reports on the Pope's health, I couldn't concentrate. I thought this morning: what is the exam compared to the Pope's pain? So I came to pray for his health."
I’ll tell you what the exam is compared to the Pope’s pain? Indicative of your future. If the Pope is in pain, or even dies – which he will Lidia, and it will be very painful for him – your life will be affected in absolutely no way, unless you choose for it to be. Now, I’m not saying you should not grieve and feel a connection to a religious leader, but let’s remember he is a man, not a god. This is the mistake you silly Christians made in the first place. Jesus Christ! If you fail that exam, you will end up dropping out of school, moving to Vegas and living in an alley, smoking crack and selling your body for money – all because you couldn’t stop thinking about the Pope. So you see? Wasting your time worrying about the Pope’s pain is actually sacrilegious.
- "I should be at work but I wanted to come to church even for a few minutes," said Beata Laczynska, 40, tears welling in her eyes. "I had to pray for him. I couldn't work without this."
Yes you could. You just wanted to leave the brothel for an hour with some BS excuse. You could very easily work like this. Millions of people around the world are in hospitals and are in fact sick and dying. Some are in even more pain than the Pope – yet you manage to go to work every single day without shedding a tear. You are what I like to call a “person who takes advantage of the Pope’s failing medical condition in order to miss an hour of work pretending to pray for the Pope, while really bending to your knees and mumbling a prayer about the upcoming football match between your favorite team and the team that is going to kick their ass.” I know, it’s not exactly catchy.
-Warsaw's Jewish community also planned to pray for the Pope, with Chief Rabbi Michael Schudrich saying no other religious leader had done so much to reconcile Christians and Jews.
"He has done so much in the fight against anti-Semitism," he told Reuters. "Nobody has accomplished as much as him. No other religious leader from any other church has ever done this."
Ok, stop the train and let me off – You can’t be serious! The Pope? C’mon! Oh wait – it makes more sense now, I found this – “Warsaw’s Jewish community held vigil for Yassir Arafat stating that by ordering the terrorist attacks on Israeli children, Arafat was helping push the Israeli people towards peace.”
Oh, and there’s also this – “Warsaw’s Jewish community holds a forgiveness rally for Hitler saying that no other man has ever done more to establish an Independent Jewish state.”
The area of the world where the Pope is most influential, Europe, has seen more acts of hatred against Jews than anywhere else. Antisemitism and crimes of hate are up, not down over the last decade. Jewish kids in France, Germany and other European nations run like hell home from school everyday to avoid being beat up, or having swastikas carved into their skin. I haven't heard a hell of a lot about that coming from the Vatican.
posted by EDS | 10:32 AM
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