The Weather

What is with all the weather issues all over the world? Truth is, I think it's always like that, just not usually in the US, so we don't care about or read about it as much. Usually it's some place like Mumbai, India, where they have 325 inches of rain in a 2 hour period and 12 million people die (though, due to lack of free press, we only usually hear that 25 people are missing or injured). But almost every week now, there are some crazy storms somewhere in the US wiping out communities and causing millions of dollars in damage.

Here's my question - Do I care? I mean hell, my home and community are fine. We got some major rain the last month or so, but not any tidal waves, hurricanes, tornadoes or flash floods. Should we feel bad that these poor bastards in the Gulf Coast and surrounding states just keep getting hit over and over again while we sit safely in our homes watching them drown on cable TV? Maybe not.

You could move down to the Gulf Coast and spend $400,000 to buy a house, only you wouldn't be buying a house, you'd be buying a castle.... with a moat.... and access to a casino....and it comes with free slaves. The cost of living is significantly lower than it is on the East Coast (particularly, NY). In NY, if you looked for a house for $400,000, you'd either be living upstate with the NY faction of the KKK, or you'd be buying a studio apartment in a suburb of the city, and parking would cost you another $250 a month. For those kinds of high prices, you don't have to risk being killed by a tornado. That's the way it works.

If you're a cheap bastard, or an uneducated mongrel whose mother and father are too closely related for comfort, or a racist puritan who can't stand being around educated minorities in an urban or suburban area, then the rural and spacious lands of the Gulf Coast is probably the place for you. We send you on down there, and hope that you don't breed too much before some kind of wind-related phenomenon wipes your silly drunk ass out.

There has to be a method of thinking that goes into the planning of the move down to one of these places. I feel bad for the people who are born down there, because they didn't have a choice, but it's always the children who pay the price for the stupidity of their parents. As mentioned, I think I've narrowed it down to three main theories of thought:

Person # 1 - The Cheap Bastard...
- Well, NY is great. We make good money and live in a nice suburban neighborhood with great schools for our children and great people around us. Everything of importance seems to happen around us. That said, $1800 a month for a two bedroom apartment just seems not to be worth it. You know what... let's pick up the kids at school and go look for a house in Alabama. I hear you can buy houses really cheap near the border of Louisiana. Flood insurance rates are high, but how often do you really NEED flood insurance? We can restart our lives down there, make new friends and live at a much lower cost of living. It will be great.
--- A few months later.... Honey??? Where are you? Are you under the furniture or on the roof? grglgrlggrlglgrgl..glub glub glub....

Person # 2 - The Uneducated Mongrel...
- This one is self-explanatory. If a brother and sister, or father and daughter mate, the usual result is a family living in Alabama or Mississippi.

Person # 3 - Racist Puritan...
- See # 2.

Anyway, that's all for now. I have to figure out how to respond to the self-righteous, clearly uneducated man-hater that just commented on my Tax on Females post from a couple of weeks ago. She probably lives in Alabama, though I can't be sure.