Piss Off the Pope
...an interactive game that you can all play at home...
I figured it would be fun to come up with ways to piss off the new Pope Benedict XVI. In case you were not aware, the Pope has created an email address to receive prayers and other requests. Yes, it's true! Check it out for yourself. Click Here.
In English, the address is benedictxvi@vatican.va
In Italian: benedettoxvi@vatican.va
Well now that we can reach him, the idea is to piss him off, or at least piss off the people reading the email on his behalf. So feel free to add to this - and be creative. Consider it a class project - writing an email to the Pope.
1.
Dear Pope,
I am Jewish and I am alive. My ancestors survived, you miserable looking prick!
EDS
2.
Dear Pope,
I am a 9 year old boy from Minneapolis in America. I saw your new website for young American boys and wanted to write and thank you for taking the time to create this website. Now me and my friends love going to Church and staying afterwards for our special meetings with Father McHarry.
3.
Dear Pope Razingerowitzensteinskycohenbergerellenbogen,
I'm with the United States Bureau of Foreign Investigation. I am writing to inform you that after carefully conducting research of your family history and background, we have concluded with 95% certainty that your mother's mother's mother was of Jewish descent. In fact, she was a Rabbi's wife.
This information about your mother, according to Jewish law, makes you a Jew as well. Good luck with that Pope! Oh, and by the way, your father was not who you think. That's right, your mother had an affair with a Jew who later became an inmate at Auschwitz (she continued to see him during that time as well). Your real last name is referenced above. Your first name is actually Herbie. Your father's name was Irving, he lives in South Miami with his new wife, Goldie. Your mother, as you know, is long dead, however, by employing the gay guy from channel 9, we were able to communicate with her, and it turns out she's upset that you didn't become a doctor. She wanted to be able to brag that her son is a doctor.
This research was conducted by our North American Zoos, Islands, Bays, Animals, Statistics, Theology, Ancestry Research Division - more commonly known by its acronym.
Thanks,
Thomas "the tank engine" Johnson
Feel free to send the Pope an email as well. If you'd like, post it here so we can all share...
I figured it would be fun to come up with ways to piss off the new Pope Benedict XVI. In case you were not aware, the Pope has created an email address to receive prayers and other requests. Yes, it's true! Check it out for yourself. Click Here.
In English, the address is benedictxvi@vatican.va
In Italian: benedettoxvi@vatican.va
Well now that we can reach him, the idea is to piss him off, or at least piss off the people reading the email on his behalf. So feel free to add to this - and be creative. Consider it a class project - writing an email to the Pope.
1.
Dear Pope,
I am Jewish and I am alive. My ancestors survived, you miserable looking prick!
EDS
2.
Dear Pope,
I am a 9 year old boy from Minneapolis in America. I saw your new website for young American boys and wanted to write and thank you for taking the time to create this website. Now me and my friends love going to Church and staying afterwards for our special meetings with Father McHarry.
3.
Dear Pope Razingerowitzensteinskycohenbergerellenbogen,
I'm with the United States Bureau of Foreign Investigation. I am writing to inform you that after carefully conducting research of your family history and background, we have concluded with 95% certainty that your mother's mother's mother was of Jewish descent. In fact, she was a Rabbi's wife.
This information about your mother, according to Jewish law, makes you a Jew as well. Good luck with that Pope! Oh, and by the way, your father was not who you think. That's right, your mother had an affair with a Jew who later became an inmate at Auschwitz (she continued to see him during that time as well). Your real last name is referenced above. Your first name is actually Herbie. Your father's name was Irving, he lives in South Miami with his new wife, Goldie. Your mother, as you know, is long dead, however, by employing the gay guy from channel 9, we were able to communicate with her, and it turns out she's upset that you didn't become a doctor. She wanted to be able to brag that her son is a doctor.
This research was conducted by our North American Zoos, Islands, Bays, Animals, Statistics, Theology, Ancestry Research Division - more commonly known by its acronym.
Thanks,
Thomas "the tank engine" Johnson
Feel free to send the Pope an email as well. If you'd like, post it here so we can all share...
posted by EDS | 1:33 PM
2 Comments:
Dear Pope,
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Sincerely,
Benedict the 17th
Dear Pope,
I used to be one of your peeps but I gave it up for Lent one year and never looked back.
Now please keep this under your miter, but I think I have a thing for you. My guess is it stems from being forced to bow down and kiss the ring of that Cardinal during my Confirmation back in the days when my parents could still bend my mind. I notice you have one of those big ol' rings too.
I realize I'm not the right gender, but come on, you're da head honcho, you can get beyond that, can't you?
Happy Poping.
Weary Hag
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