A Comment from The General...
I only wish I knew the identity of the person who left this comment, but I felt it warranted its own post... Thanks for the contribution...
I just want to congratulate EDS and JP on becoming one more item on my list of things to do in class instead of paying attention. This list has been growing longer and longer throughout law school. At this point, I don’t have enough time during class to complete everything. I will probably have to stop going to class altogether. As JP pointed out, the first day is the most important anyway – when you look around and find out whose notes your going to get.
I have two points. First, on the subject of instant gratification and impatience: The root cause of the need for instant gratification is the remote control. For thousands of years, humans were forced to follow the general rule of – if you want something quicker, you must work faster, which usually meant working harder. The lazier you were, the longer it took to get what you want, the more patient you were forced to be. Then the remote was invented. The remote was ingenious. Now people can get the joy of laziness without the need to be patient.
I am not trying to be critical of the remote. I think it ranks up there with the wheel, indoor plumbing and pizza as one of the greatest inventions ever. The remote is one of those little things you never appreciate until its gone. Last week, I fell asleep watching the Daily Show. I woke up in the morning to the sound of infomercials. Although Ron Popeil was making a compelling argument for purchasing a flavor injector (which, for those unfamiliar with it, is a giant syringe used to ram various marinades into poultry), it was very important to switch to ESPN, but the remote was nowhere to be found. [Maybe this can be addressed in a later post – how many people have the irrational habit of watching Sportscenter at night and then again in the morning? Although a major sports story almost never breaks between midnight and 8AM, I always make sure to catch that morning show, just in case.] Now I was torn. I had two little devils standing on my shoulder. My laziness was telling me to stay in bed – it’s Comedy Central eventually something funny will come on. My impatience said, find the remote and change the channel. In the end, my laziness won and I watched the entire infomercial. That morning I learned an important lesson about patience and, more importantly, flavor injecting.
Second, on the topic of people that annoy me: There is one driving habit that gets me more pissed than being cut off – People who take the HOV lane and drive slower than the people in the regular lanes. I think environmentalists should picket their homes. They are destroying the entire carpool movement. Although I have never actively sought to change my car from a low occupancy vehicle, or LOV, to a HOV, I still expect to get the benefit when I happen to have a passenger. (I rightfully should, as the world revolves around me.) The concept is simple - HOV lanes don’t work unless they are faster than the other lanes. There is nothing more frustrating than getting stuck behind some schmuck in the HOV lane (which always happens right after you pass one of those “no exit for 30 miles” signs).
These people are impervious to any signals that they are driving too slowly. Honking, flashing your brights and tailgating only causes these people to slow down. These people are morons. If we are going to make differential lanes, morons should have their own lane. There should be a lane for people who cannot figure out the concept of driving, a separate lane for people who drive well and finally, there should be a third lane reserved for myself and Jeff Gordon.
Until that happens, I will have to avoid the HOV lane, or spend countless hours cruising at 35 mph behind some old man (and his dog, which he counts as a passenger) wishing I could stab him with my flavor injector. If I only had some sort of James Bond car with missiles, so I could blow up the evil old man and his little dog too. Of course, James Bond never had to resort to these measures because he only drives on special European roads, which only allow James Bond, evil geniuses, hot women in sports cars and, for some reason, hay-carts.
--General R. Blie
I just want to congratulate EDS and JP on becoming one more item on my list of things to do in class instead of paying attention. This list has been growing longer and longer throughout law school. At this point, I don’t have enough time during class to complete everything. I will probably have to stop going to class altogether. As JP pointed out, the first day is the most important anyway – when you look around and find out whose notes your going to get.
I have two points. First, on the subject of instant gratification and impatience: The root cause of the need for instant gratification is the remote control. For thousands of years, humans were forced to follow the general rule of – if you want something quicker, you must work faster, which usually meant working harder. The lazier you were, the longer it took to get what you want, the more patient you were forced to be. Then the remote was invented. The remote was ingenious. Now people can get the joy of laziness without the need to be patient.
I am not trying to be critical of the remote. I think it ranks up there with the wheel, indoor plumbing and pizza as one of the greatest inventions ever. The remote is one of those little things you never appreciate until its gone. Last week, I fell asleep watching the Daily Show. I woke up in the morning to the sound of infomercials. Although Ron Popeil was making a compelling argument for purchasing a flavor injector (which, for those unfamiliar with it, is a giant syringe used to ram various marinades into poultry), it was very important to switch to ESPN, but the remote was nowhere to be found. [Maybe this can be addressed in a later post – how many people have the irrational habit of watching Sportscenter at night and then again in the morning? Although a major sports story almost never breaks between midnight and 8AM, I always make sure to catch that morning show, just in case.] Now I was torn. I had two little devils standing on my shoulder. My laziness was telling me to stay in bed – it’s Comedy Central eventually something funny will come on. My impatience said, find the remote and change the channel. In the end, my laziness won and I watched the entire infomercial. That morning I learned an important lesson about patience and, more importantly, flavor injecting.
Second, on the topic of people that annoy me: There is one driving habit that gets me more pissed than being cut off – People who take the HOV lane and drive slower than the people in the regular lanes. I think environmentalists should picket their homes. They are destroying the entire carpool movement. Although I have never actively sought to change my car from a low occupancy vehicle, or LOV, to a HOV, I still expect to get the benefit when I happen to have a passenger. (I rightfully should, as the world revolves around me.) The concept is simple - HOV lanes don’t work unless they are faster than the other lanes. There is nothing more frustrating than getting stuck behind some schmuck in the HOV lane (which always happens right after you pass one of those “no exit for 30 miles” signs).
These people are impervious to any signals that they are driving too slowly. Honking, flashing your brights and tailgating only causes these people to slow down. These people are morons. If we are going to make differential lanes, morons should have their own lane. There should be a lane for people who cannot figure out the concept of driving, a separate lane for people who drive well and finally, there should be a third lane reserved for myself and Jeff Gordon.
Until that happens, I will have to avoid the HOV lane, or spend countless hours cruising at 35 mph behind some old man (and his dog, which he counts as a passenger) wishing I could stab him with my flavor injector. If I only had some sort of James Bond car with missiles, so I could blow up the evil old man and his little dog too. Of course, James Bond never had to resort to these measures because he only drives on special European roads, which only allow James Bond, evil geniuses, hot women in sports cars and, for some reason, hay-carts.
--General R. Blie
posted by EDS | 8:55 AM
2 Comments:
Though I am not sure who you are, and feel free to make it known to me at some point, if I indeed know you... I appreciate the time and effort you must've put into looking up a website for flavor injectors... Well done!
EDS
"As JP pointed out, the first day is the most important anyway – when you look around and find out whose notes your going to get."
That's easy. It's the person typing furiously, when the only the the professor has said is "Welcome to Civil Procedure. I have Office Hours on Mondays at 4." And then you look at the person's screen and see:
"Civil Procedure
MTW 1:00-2:30
Professor Boring McPlain
Office Hours: Monday 4:00 PM"
Meaning, that they've typed MORE WORDS than the professor has spoken.
I've always thought that stenographers would do well in law school. They could sell the best notes.
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