ESPN…it’s not TV…
I have always been a proponent of Black History Month. I’ve never had a problem with the Gay Pride Parades. I’m a big supporter of the Israeli Day Parade. There are few things more entertaining to me than the Puerto Rican Day Parade (the annual post-parade news stories, being one). All things important and cherished should indeed be celebrated, and this is why these annual expressions of solidarity with important institutions and groups are so significant.
However, if all of these institutions can be considered so crucial as to warrant parades, concerts and celebrations, how is it that we do not celebrate the most important institution in modern history? ESPN is a network that has created purpose and meaning to the lives of many men and women (ok, mostly men). This organization has strived to bring sports of all kinds to people of all kinds and has done so astonishingly. I, for one, live ESPN. I watch Sportscenter every morning (at least twice) and evening. I watch tons (understatement) of college basketball and baseball. Sometimes when I’m awake at 12am and cannot sleep, there is nothing on TV and I am depressed. I turn to that magnificent channel, and ‘booyah’! The Lobos are taking on the Red Raiders. I’m set till 2:30am.
Being a full-time student means loads of free time during the days. Back then, that used to mean soap operas (for the feminine) or prank phone calls (for those of us without scrambled porn). But today, it means professional bowling, World’s Strongest Man, or World Series of Poker re-runs. I can watch NFL Films (great music) and NBA’s Greatest Games in the middle of the day. This calls for a much larger celebration than anything else. July 4th is always going to be Independence Day, but we need a day to celebrate Dependence Day. Our Dependence on ESPN is truly marvelous, and should never be taken for granted. The opportunity to watch sports round the clock is truly a remarkable invention.
During the big summer blackout a few years back, I actually pondered the question, would I rather have my air conditioning working or my ESPN? The answer was air conditioning, but it was a tough one. And the answer may have changed after 24 hours (you can only hum the Sportcenter theme music so many times without needing a fix, dunna nuh, dunna nuh).
It is with this in mind that I propose an annual celebration of this wonderful sports network. ESPN Appreciation Day should be a day of joy and happiness unmatched by all. Chris Berman, Dan Patrick and Linda Cohn should no longer be just anchors, but hailed as monarchs and prophets along with other ESPN greats. The Sportcenter ‘Top Ten’ is not a daily bit, it is a daily carnival. ‘Web Gems’ are not just highlights, they are gospel. ‘Did You Know’ is not trivia, it’s prophecy. ESPN is indeed, The Truth!
However, if all of these institutions can be considered so crucial as to warrant parades, concerts and celebrations, how is it that we do not celebrate the most important institution in modern history? ESPN is a network that has created purpose and meaning to the lives of many men and women (ok, mostly men). This organization has strived to bring sports of all kinds to people of all kinds and has done so astonishingly. I, for one, live ESPN. I watch Sportscenter every morning (at least twice) and evening. I watch tons (understatement) of college basketball and baseball. Sometimes when I’m awake at 12am and cannot sleep, there is nothing on TV and I am depressed. I turn to that magnificent channel, and ‘booyah’! The Lobos are taking on the Red Raiders. I’m set till 2:30am.
Being a full-time student means loads of free time during the days. Back then, that used to mean soap operas (for the feminine) or prank phone calls (for those of us without scrambled porn). But today, it means professional bowling, World’s Strongest Man, or World Series of Poker re-runs. I can watch NFL Films (great music) and NBA’s Greatest Games in the middle of the day. This calls for a much larger celebration than anything else. July 4th is always going to be Independence Day, but we need a day to celebrate Dependence Day. Our Dependence on ESPN is truly marvelous, and should never be taken for granted. The opportunity to watch sports round the clock is truly a remarkable invention.
During the big summer blackout a few years back, I actually pondered the question, would I rather have my air conditioning working or my ESPN? The answer was air conditioning, but it was a tough one. And the answer may have changed after 24 hours (you can only hum the Sportcenter theme music so many times without needing a fix, dunna nuh, dunna nuh).
It is with this in mind that I propose an annual celebration of this wonderful sports network. ESPN Appreciation Day should be a day of joy and happiness unmatched by all. Chris Berman, Dan Patrick and Linda Cohn should no longer be just anchors, but hailed as monarchs and prophets along with other ESPN greats. The Sportcenter ‘Top Ten’ is not a daily bit, it is a daily carnival. ‘Web Gems’ are not just highlights, they are gospel. ‘Did You Know’ is not trivia, it’s prophecy. ESPN is indeed, The Truth!
posted by EDS | 1:02 PM
1 Comments:
Because I lack the ability of George Carlin, I am forever grateful to ESPN for defining "what is a sport?" The basic rule is - if it is shown on ESPN, it is a sport. Without ESPN, it would be very difficult to figure out if things like Trick Shot Pool (a sport) and synchronized swimming (not a sport) are actually sports. [Yes, there are a number of Olympic events that are not considered sports.]
It is interesting to note that things can become sports. Poker was not a sport when it was only on The Travel Channel. Once ESPN started showing the World Series of Poker, it officially became a sport.
Also, someone once questioned why I don't like reality shows. They argued that since I like sports, I should, at least, enjoy the reality shows where people get eliminated. This is incorrect. Just because there is competition, it is not a sport. Miss America, the presidential election and the Academy Awards are competitions, but they are not sports. Likewise, reality shows are not sports -- except, of course, Dream Job.
--General R. Blie
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