Jeopardy and Losers: An Amazing Correlation…
By JP..
I am not a big fan of Ken Jennings. First of all, he reminds me of all those nerdy kids in grade school who used to tell on me for throwing spit balls. He represents to me that one kid in junior high who memorized every state and country capital and mountain range to win the Geography Bee. He represents to me one person, Andrew Groski. Andrew was the valedictorian of my junior high school. He was an automatic A on every test he took and book report he wrote. He was a studying machine. Trouble was he also had the personality of a cardboard cutout. He was bland, he was boring. He was stiff, he was uptight, and the sad part is, he was only 13 years old. Every time I see Ken Jennings, I think of that kid. I was rooting against Jennings every time he played, cursing him out when he ran up over 2.5 million in prize money. He is a Mormon too. Mormons are so boring; the only interesting part about Mormons is that they believe in polygamy. However now that is outlawed, so they are just a bunch of boring people who don’t drink, smoke or do much else. No wonder why that guy knew everything, he couldn’t have any fun, so he must’ve just memorized the almanac and encyclopedia in between glasses of milk and eating carrot sticks.
I don’t like that Alex Trebec either. I used to like him, until he shaved his mustache and tried to be funny. What’s next in his mid-life crisis? Is he going to grow a pony tail and a goatee and start trying to be a hells angel? Trebec hated Ken Jennings, you could tell, they had no chemistry, and the fact that Alex was finally shown to be just an idiot reading answers off of cue cards probably made Trebec hit the bottle just a little harder.
Oh, as for that kid Groski, we both applied to the same high school, which only was going to take 1 kid from our school. Him - mister perfect GPA, altar boy, student of the month every time, and the dude who won every spelling, geography and math bee ever - didn’t get in. The guy who did get in was the one who got reprimanded on a weekly basis for spitball fights, putting a banana in a teachers tailpipe (her car’s tailpipe you sicko), and was always late for class. The kid snapped - he couldn’t believe he failed. In fact, he started sending death threats to all the kids in the class. Of course, I got blamed for it at first, but when it turned out to be little boy Andrew, the faculty all thought it was a cute joke. Needless to say, last I heard, he joined the military after going to West Point. Maybe the reason there are problems in Iraq is because idiots like that are probably playing a big role in what goes on over there.
As for Ken Jennings, I think I plan on trying out for Jeopardy, and beating his record. Except instead of being boring and talking about my stamp collection, I will smoke cigarettes and drink a 40 during the meet the contestants portion just to make things interesting.
I am not a big fan of Ken Jennings. First of all, he reminds me of all those nerdy kids in grade school who used to tell on me for throwing spit balls. He represents to me that one kid in junior high who memorized every state and country capital and mountain range to win the Geography Bee. He represents to me one person, Andrew Groski. Andrew was the valedictorian of my junior high school. He was an automatic A on every test he took and book report he wrote. He was a studying machine. Trouble was he also had the personality of a cardboard cutout. He was bland, he was boring. He was stiff, he was uptight, and the sad part is, he was only 13 years old. Every time I see Ken Jennings, I think of that kid. I was rooting against Jennings every time he played, cursing him out when he ran up over 2.5 million in prize money. He is a Mormon too. Mormons are so boring; the only interesting part about Mormons is that they believe in polygamy. However now that is outlawed, so they are just a bunch of boring people who don’t drink, smoke or do much else. No wonder why that guy knew everything, he couldn’t have any fun, so he must’ve just memorized the almanac and encyclopedia in between glasses of milk and eating carrot sticks.
I don’t like that Alex Trebec either. I used to like him, until he shaved his mustache and tried to be funny. What’s next in his mid-life crisis? Is he going to grow a pony tail and a goatee and start trying to be a hells angel? Trebec hated Ken Jennings, you could tell, they had no chemistry, and the fact that Alex was finally shown to be just an idiot reading answers off of cue cards probably made Trebec hit the bottle just a little harder.
Oh, as for that kid Groski, we both applied to the same high school, which only was going to take 1 kid from our school. Him - mister perfect GPA, altar boy, student of the month every time, and the dude who won every spelling, geography and math bee ever - didn’t get in. The guy who did get in was the one who got reprimanded on a weekly basis for spitball fights, putting a banana in a teachers tailpipe (her car’s tailpipe you sicko), and was always late for class. The kid snapped - he couldn’t believe he failed. In fact, he started sending death threats to all the kids in the class. Of course, I got blamed for it at first, but when it turned out to be little boy Andrew, the faculty all thought it was a cute joke. Needless to say, last I heard, he joined the military after going to West Point. Maybe the reason there are problems in Iraq is because idiots like that are probably playing a big role in what goes on over there.
As for Ken Jennings, I think I plan on trying out for Jeopardy, and beating his record. Except instead of being boring and talking about my stamp collection, I will smoke cigarettes and drink a 40 during the meet the contestants portion just to make things interesting.
posted by EDS | 2:22 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home