Dancing Puppets

The purpose of this blog is to create a forum of meaningless and irrelevant rants for people with nothing better to do at that moment other than provide entertainment to others...

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Location: United States

Why Dancing Puppets? It seems customary to begin your blog with an explanation as to why you chose the name you did. In this case - "Dancing Puppets" - there is a simple reason. As mentioned above in the description of this blog, the purpose is to provide a forum for nonsensical and senseless rantings or perhaps the occassional profound and logical argument. However, this is not to promote the marketplace of ideas, or the exercise of free speech. No, no, no... Rather this blog exists simply to provide a continuing source of entertainment to its readers, and more importantly, to me. As the great Stewie likes to say... "Dance Puppets, Dance!"

Friday, December 16, 2005

F. the French...

No reason, just because...

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
-Mark Twain.

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
-General George S. Patton.

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
-Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." Marge Simpson "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
-Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
-Rush Limbaugh

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
-Regis Philbin.

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."
-Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of France either"
-Jay Leno.

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
-David Letterman

"Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada."
-Ted Nugent

"War without France would be like ... uh ... World War II. "

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
-Dennis Miller.

"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."
-Alan Kent

"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
-Argus Hamilton

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day-the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.'"
-Rep. Roy Blunt (MO)

"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried."
-Rep. R. Blount (MO)

"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining."
-John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.

"French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney (AP), Paris, March 5, 2003 The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists"

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