Two Quick Things:
A couple of random things that I experienced this morning that somewhat bothered me:
Dancing with the Stars: I never heard of this show until this morning. Apparently this is some sort of competition where celebrities team up with professional dancers and compete for points. Whatever, I wasn't really paying attention when my wife was explaining it to me. I was too busy watching Jerry Rice prancing around like a faygele on national TV. That's right, THE Jerry Rice. Tiger Balm endorser, future Hall of Famer, record holder, multiple Super Bowl winner - Jerry Rice - on a stage, in a tux, looking like a nancy.
IMPORTANT: I DID NOT WATCH THE SHOW. I saw the highlights of Rice dancing on Sportcenter. That's right, Sportcenter. Here's a guy, who despite my loyalty to the New York Giants, and despite the "nothing can be finer than to beat the 49ers" mantra, was every boy's hero growing up. This guy was (and still is to some extent) unbelievable. He could do anything he wanted on a football field. To have to watch him force a smile while skipping-to-his-lou with some freakish looking professional dance-partner completely ruins the Hall of Fame images I remember of this man from my youth. Why'd you do that Jerry? Why?!? You can't possibly need the money or attention. I cannot think of a logical explanation for these actions.
And by the way, the only time any kind of dancing was ever worthy of being on Sportcenter, was when that Russian chick got dropped on her head by her figure skating partner. I believe it made the Top Ten Plays of the Week... well maybe not, but it should have.
Urinal Propriety: Onto a slightly different topic. There is no reason that I can think of (and if you can think of one, let me know), that I should have to walk into the bathroom at work this morning and see a man standing at the urinal with his pants around his ankles. Seriously, that's what happened. He had his pants around his ankles to pee at the urinal. I actually waited at the sink a while to see the guy turn around when he was done so I could make sure he did not have down syndrome so I could properly make fun of him.
Does there need to be a training course on how to use a urinal? Do we need a manual? Some things should not need to be taught. Obviously there is proper spacing etiquette which every male instinctually knows. You do not stand directly next to another man while urinating unless there are no empty urinals or stalls. If you are forced to, make sure your eyes are straight ahead. Chance are the big black guy next to you IS much bigger, and you do not want him to know you were checking.
But the process of pulling your junk through your zipper without having to lower your pants should not be that difficult. Now to be fair, there is one other factor I noticed. This was a very heavy man. I'm not even close to overweight, nor have I ever been. In fact, there were times in my life before the trainer in college introduced me to free-weights that you could have knocked me down with a strong fart. So perhaps I am missing a key piece of information here.
I know people like to joke with fat guys about not being able to see their johnson. Maybe it's true. Maybe this guy has absolute no chance of retrieving his member through his zipper. Perhaps it is impossible for him to bypass (that's a funny word to use in a conversation about fat people - just noting) the blubber and folds in his mid-section to get to his member. Maybe, just maybe, he NEEDS to pull down his pants completely just to find his unit before he pisses himself trying to get Mister Winky out of his zipper.
Well, if that's the case, I can definitely understand and respect the pants around the ankle thing, but here is what I still don't get - WHY THE F. CAN'T YOU GO INTO A STALL SO I DON'T HAVE TO SEE YOUR BIG FAT ASS AND THIGHS?!?
Dancing with the Stars: I never heard of this show until this morning. Apparently this is some sort of competition where celebrities team up with professional dancers and compete for points. Whatever, I wasn't really paying attention when my wife was explaining it to me. I was too busy watching Jerry Rice prancing around like a faygele on national TV. That's right, THE Jerry Rice. Tiger Balm endorser, future Hall of Famer, record holder, multiple Super Bowl winner - Jerry Rice - on a stage, in a tux, looking like a nancy.
IMPORTANT: I DID NOT WATCH THE SHOW. I saw the highlights of Rice dancing on Sportcenter. That's right, Sportcenter. Here's a guy, who despite my loyalty to the New York Giants, and despite the "nothing can be finer than to beat the 49ers" mantra, was every boy's hero growing up. This guy was (and still is to some extent) unbelievable. He could do anything he wanted on a football field. To have to watch him force a smile while skipping-to-his-lou with some freakish looking professional dance-partner completely ruins the Hall of Fame images I remember of this man from my youth. Why'd you do that Jerry? Why?!? You can't possibly need the money or attention. I cannot think of a logical explanation for these actions.
And by the way, the only time any kind of dancing was ever worthy of being on Sportcenter, was when that Russian chick got dropped on her head by her figure skating partner. I believe it made the Top Ten Plays of the Week... well maybe not, but it should have.
Urinal Propriety: Onto a slightly different topic. There is no reason that I can think of (and if you can think of one, let me know), that I should have to walk into the bathroom at work this morning and see a man standing at the urinal with his pants around his ankles. Seriously, that's what happened. He had his pants around his ankles to pee at the urinal. I actually waited at the sink a while to see the guy turn around when he was done so I could make sure he did not have down syndrome so I could properly make fun of him.
Does there need to be a training course on how to use a urinal? Do we need a manual? Some things should not need to be taught. Obviously there is proper spacing etiquette which every male instinctually knows. You do not stand directly next to another man while urinating unless there are no empty urinals or stalls. If you are forced to, make sure your eyes are straight ahead. Chance are the big black guy next to you IS much bigger, and you do not want him to know you were checking.
But the process of pulling your junk through your zipper without having to lower your pants should not be that difficult. Now to be fair, there is one other factor I noticed. This was a very heavy man. I'm not even close to overweight, nor have I ever been. In fact, there were times in my life before the trainer in college introduced me to free-weights that you could have knocked me down with a strong fart. So perhaps I am missing a key piece of information here.
I know people like to joke with fat guys about not being able to see their johnson. Maybe it's true. Maybe this guy has absolute no chance of retrieving his member through his zipper. Perhaps it is impossible for him to bypass (that's a funny word to use in a conversation about fat people - just noting) the blubber and folds in his mid-section to get to his member. Maybe, just maybe, he NEEDS to pull down his pants completely just to find his unit before he pisses himself trying to get Mister Winky out of his zipper.
Well, if that's the case, I can definitely understand and respect the pants around the ankle thing, but here is what I still don't get - WHY THE F. CAN'T YOU GO INTO A STALL SO I DON'T HAVE TO SEE YOUR BIG FAT ASS AND THIGHS?!?
posted by EDS | 9:48 AM
2 Comments:
NIce blog! I can relate but not to the same extreme (being that i'm a woman, i don't get to see the pants around the ankles) but it bothers me when guys are still zipping as they are exiting the bathroom. it awkward and it leads me to believe they dind't wash their hands. ha ha. have a great day!
HA! Nice to have you.
It's good to hear the woman's perspective on some of these things. Feel free to interject anytime. Good point.
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