Hockey = Figure Skating + Sticks
Big news in the sports world lately has been the cancellation of the NHL Hockey season. I find it interesting that this is probably the most attention hockey has gotten in years. This is because hockey sucks. Well, except for the playoffs maybe.
There is no question that hockey players are terrific athletes. They can do amazing things on the ice. They can spin, jump and control their bodies at extremely high speeds. They are graceful, athletic and agile. They can twirl and twist and do triple toe lutzes (or whatever it’s called). Kind of like figure skaters, except figure skaters don’t wear wimpy helmets and pads. Yeah, hockey players think they are tough because they lose a few teeth here and there; well people in the red states down south lose teeth everyday without even playing sports. Besides, figure skaters will do flips and jumps at ridiculous speeds without any protective gear (see the figure skater who landed flat on her skull after her partner missed the catch).
Playoff hockey is fun to watch, but not because it’s hockey. It’s why almost any championship series or playoff of any sport is fun to watch – the intensity and pressure. Hell, I’ll watch the finals at the dog show because there’s a chance of controversy and some type of fight. World Series of Poker – who the hell likes to watch other people play poker? The answer – anyone – when enough money is on the table. I watched the arm-wrestling championship on ESPN yesterday. Same with hockey - it’s the figure skating playoffs, that’s why people watch.
These oversized, muscular figure skaters prancing around the ice with sticks – people pay to watch this? Occasionally they get mad at each other and have slapping fights. The rest of the time they skate around playing grab-ass and pokemon with their gloves and sticks.
The NBA is stupid, but at least it’s a sport worth watching on some level (college).
Now, I will concede that watching hockey in an arena is a truly different experience then watching it on TV, and perhaps, easier to follow and to enjoy. When ticket prices are over $100, this doesn’t allow for the casual sports fan to waste his money and invest his time in supporting a team. Therefore, casual fans don’t go to games, and casual fans will not watch on TV. The NHL needs to do a much better job marketing and selling its product. This means two things: making people want to go, and allowing people to afford to be able to go.
Until they do that, sports fans like me will always view the NHL as a less-gay, steroid enhanced, extra-large form of figure skating, and I will only watch games where there is a good chance of a bloody fight breaking out.
AJS and Chicken Parm, I know you’ll have some misguided thoughts on this one…
There is no question that hockey players are terrific athletes. They can do amazing things on the ice. They can spin, jump and control their bodies at extremely high speeds. They are graceful, athletic and agile. They can twirl and twist and do triple toe lutzes (or whatever it’s called). Kind of like figure skaters, except figure skaters don’t wear wimpy helmets and pads. Yeah, hockey players think they are tough because they lose a few teeth here and there; well people in the red states down south lose teeth everyday without even playing sports. Besides, figure skaters will do flips and jumps at ridiculous speeds without any protective gear (see the figure skater who landed flat on her skull after her partner missed the catch).
Playoff hockey is fun to watch, but not because it’s hockey. It’s why almost any championship series or playoff of any sport is fun to watch – the intensity and pressure. Hell, I’ll watch the finals at the dog show because there’s a chance of controversy and some type of fight. World Series of Poker – who the hell likes to watch other people play poker? The answer – anyone – when enough money is on the table. I watched the arm-wrestling championship on ESPN yesterday. Same with hockey - it’s the figure skating playoffs, that’s why people watch.
These oversized, muscular figure skaters prancing around the ice with sticks – people pay to watch this? Occasionally they get mad at each other and have slapping fights. The rest of the time they skate around playing grab-ass and pokemon with their gloves and sticks.
The NBA is stupid, but at least it’s a sport worth watching on some level (college).
Now, I will concede that watching hockey in an arena is a truly different experience then watching it on TV, and perhaps, easier to follow and to enjoy. When ticket prices are over $100, this doesn’t allow for the casual sports fan to waste his money and invest his time in supporting a team. Therefore, casual fans don’t go to games, and casual fans will not watch on TV. The NHL needs to do a much better job marketing and selling its product. This means two things: making people want to go, and allowing people to afford to be able to go.
Until they do that, sports fans like me will always view the NHL as a less-gay, steroid enhanced, extra-large form of figure skating, and I will only watch games where there is a good chance of a bloody fight breaking out.
AJS and Chicken Parm, I know you’ll have some misguided thoughts on this one…
posted by EDS | 10:34 AM
22 Comments:
I'm glad you feel so strongly about your opinion, but you don't need to pull an AJS and post twice.
I know you play hockey, but tell me if any dufus could play basketball, why can't you?
EDS-
You truly are misguided. Most hockey player couldn’t do a lutz if their lives depended on it. Yes, these guys that play the sport are not intelligent, probably on steroids and love hitting each other for fun, but that is what makes the sport so great.
Hockey has some of the greatest moments in sports. There is nothing that can compare to the penalty shot. No blocked shot in basketball can compare to a kick save or great gloves save. There is no baseball fight that can compare to 2 players skating to the faceoff circle and trash talking and then before the puck even is dropped, they drop the gloves and fight like it is for the World Heavyweight Championship.
The rivalries in hockey are also incredible. When you play a team 6 times a year but each game involves hitting all game long, rivalries get intensified. The Islanders can (and do) draw 8-10 thousand fans a game. Yet when the Rangers come to the Coliseum, the place is packed and shaking.
Tickets are overpriced and most people can’t afford it and it is killing the league. But Every person that gets into the sport will be back cause they realize that it is the greatest sport.
But as you know, once you get into hockey, there is truly nothing better.
AJS
not as sure of yourself on this one...only posted once...
I saw you play in high school, I wouldn't exactly call that playing basketball...which is probably why you stuck with hockey as you got older...
AJS -
how can you make a hockey argument, say it has some of the greates moments ever, and not mention 1980 to defend your sport. Just shows the weakness out there in support for this sport.
Besides, if I want to watch a group of genetic freaks on steroids hit each other and be physical, I'll watch football. It's far more entertaining.
And are you really going to compare the 8-10 thousand that watch a hockey game to the 50 thous that watch a baseball game? or the 20 thous that watch crappy NBA games? Great Ceasar's Ghost!
Does that mean you gave up on the hockey argument? 2nd place in 3's is not bad, either is 2nd place in FT's if you indeed were. Want to publish the rest of your stats? go ahead... I don't mind.
But anytime you feel like defending hockey - go ahead! Respek!
Good point... Give MJ a month, I bet you he's a better than avg hockey player. Give Lemiux a year, he doesn't make a semi-pro basketball team.
Mutombo argument is not fair - he's from Africa, they don't have ice in Africa. They don't have a bobsledding team either.
But this is for sure, you put William Perry on Skates and put him in net, he will get you a lot of saves...
EDS-
I was commenting on your post which seems to be bashing the NHL. Even Grandpa, who hates hockey, would not classify the 1980 Olympic team as a bunch of figure skaters. That was the greatest TEAM that ever played. No one will question that. If you want to pull that out, that was the greatest sports (not just hockey) momemnt of the century. I didn't think that we allowed ignorant people on this site so I felt no need to mention it.
AJS
MJ took on baseball late in his career, and there's no doubt had he taken it seriously he'd probably be great. Plus hockey's a lot easier.
Dudley and Bradley are 7 feet tall.
Speaking of lunch... I am starving...
AJS -
only problem with that argument is that it wasn't the greatest sports moment of this century...
You can make an argument for last century though...
I would disagree and say it's up there... but definitely a valid point...
But I will clarify and say that Olympic hockey is perhaps more enjoyable than NHL... is that a fair statement? I think the different rules, the constant stakes and underdogs make it far more enjoyable. The NHL is still a bunch of fairies with sticks. At least that's what they look like on TV.
EDS-
That might be the greatest sports game ever. You didn't have a whole country watching any other sporting event like that. There is no movie about Yankees vs Boston game 7.
The rules are pretty much the same but you actually watch it cause it is the olympics. The players are the same. The same talent is there. Call them whatever you want but they play a team sport where its ok to hit someone and not get thrown out of the game. They play with broken bones and the risk of getting their teeth knocked out. But unlike the wimps on the basketball court.
Just because you suck at the sport doesn't mean you should knock it.
AJS
Please - that's the same in every sport - Robert Horry, Ben Wallace, Louis Sojo, Scott Brosius, Dave Roberts, John Paxon, Charles Smith (woops)...
to name a few... there's always little guys stepping up. all those sports depend on team to win. Look at Patriots. The Bulls when they won had Jordan, but they won because he made them a better team. And when they didn't have it, so he'd score 60, which is why he's the best ever... But every sport has its grinders (Teddy Bruschi) and underpaid players who shine in the big show...and in the other sports you can often pronounce their names...
Really? I didn't watch it. And as for the movie comment, there are plenty of bad sports movies out there. Miracle happens to be a good one, and a great game, I said I'm not knocking it. Just don't know that it was greatest sports moment of that century, may very well be...
As for me sucking at hockey, that may be, I haven't played since I'm about 12...Back then I was ok. But it was floor hockey, which is obviously twice as retarded... How were you at ice hockey AJS? I forget...
EDS-
If you call clearing out for Marbury a team sport or Bonds hitting home runs a team sport, then fine. But I define team sport as a sport where everyone on the team effects the outcome. When Vin Baker or Bubba Crosby play into the outcome of every game over the course of a season, I will consider it a true team sport.
AJS
EDS -
I gotta fall on the hockey side of this one. Of the four "major" sports (I think hockey, after this debacle isn't majot anymore, but you get it), basketball takes the least skill. The very fact that it can be played well on every street corner in the city speaks directly against it being difficult. Michael Jordan, regardless of how hard he tried, could not learn to hit a baseball. He just didn't have the hand-eye coordination necessary. Sure, after millions of hours of practice, a person can learn the muscle memory to know exactly how much force and direction to put on a jumpshot for it to go in. That's not skill, that's practice. MJ couldn't learn baseball. And he probably, despite being an exceptional athlete, couldn't learn hockey either. I know you feel a personal obligation to defend basketball, but if you think about it objectively, you'd see that the hockey guys are right about this.
Notice the Knicks and Giants suck... they dont play team ball...
I never played ice hockey but had I practiced I would have been ok. Floor hockey isn't real hockey- I will admit that so it shouldnt be considered.. But If I picked up a stick to play ice hockey, I would be able to hold my ground.
I can also go into a basketball game and play ok. Granted I couldn't play on a real team because I am not good enough, but I would look a whole lot better than you would on a hockey rink.
AJS
AJS
Not a chance... please... basketball is not played well on every street corner, it is played on every street corner... Being good at hockey (again floor hockey so it's a crappy point somewhat, but just in terms of shooting and stick handling) was easy for me when I was younger. Basketball took a ton of practice and work, and still does, because it's much harder to perfect. And I invite you to study shooting a basketball, it is not a science that you can learn... it is indeed a lot of practice, but not anybody can do it (see greg olstertag)
AJS - I highly highly doubt it...
This I completely agree with...
Because of the nature of athleticism and the impact of such athleticism on the game...
This is why college basketball is so great to watch, even beginning of the year meaningless games. Because no game ever looks meaningless. Fans storm the courts, players get into it... it's great to watch... That is why it is the greatest level of basketball to watch...
ass,
any idiot can buy a ball and a milk crate to hang.
any idiot can buy a stick and a ball.
any idiot can buy a football and play on the street.
any idiot can make a left turn.
every idiot thinks tiger woods is part his nationality.
hockey requires more of an investment. most can't afford it. those who can't afford it usually can't for a reason. as a group, they're not too bright. those who are not too bright usually don't attempt to broaden their horizons by watching something they and their friends don't actively participate in.
their loss.
nhl hockey is far superior to nba basketball. you try skating those shifts with that intensity on both ends of the rink, then tell me that's not incredible athleticism.
nothing but extra-inning playoff baseball beats playoff hockey.
baseball should have fixed its problem by sitting out 1995. blowing off a post season after playing 3/4 of a season is a far more egregious offense than canceling a season from start to finish.
the nhl will be back, better than ever, with a sound financial system that allows for 30 competitive teams.
only the yankees, flax seed oil vendors, and athletes with a secret desire for an extra large head and extra small testicles benefited from baseball's "armegeddon".
no matter how good lebron james becomes, the nba will always suck.
if i may add my 10 agurot..
eds, although i mostly agree with your usual comments, i must side with ajs (although H makes some good points about soccer players, although soccer should win the award for possibly the most boring sport to watch. except maybe for curling) - basketball players are (as a whole) pretty much one sided individuals - they can run fast, jump high, and shoot a sphere through a hoop. hell, if i was 6'7", your damn sure i would have mad skills. hockey players at least have to learn to skate, something not innate to human development (as opposed to walking. or running). plus, have you ever heard what comes out of basketball players' mouths? it sounds like they're ALL from africa.
drek
You're nuts, the 6'7 athlete is the most amazing of all... 99% of guys over 6'5 are completely stiff and can't move well. these guys move better than the above average 5'8 person.. it's totally unnaturaly, and much harder than practicing and learning to skate. you can learn how to skate and skate well, you cannot learn how to be 6'7 and athletic. no brainer, you're all retarded. H has it right, the rest of you should be in special ed.
Post a Comment
<< Home