The Continuing Saga of JP's Law School Life...
Part IV (if that's where we're up too)...
Well, it has been a while, I spent last week working and competing in a mock trial competition, but now I am back! This is the first of many posts this week; I started it two weeks ago before I got super busy with my dumb mock trial. More to come this week I promise, with my look at study groups coming up soon, and while not part of the law school myths, I am going to walk you guys through my now ended career of the gayest thing I have ever done, which is mock trials.
Alright here we go!
The day of the average law student
There used to be this song, I forget who sings it or the name. But the verse of the song is “She works hard for her money, so hard for her money. She works hard for her money so you better treat her right.” The video was good, it showed some 80’s style woman with big hair, pastel clothes, getting yelled at by her boss, groped by her cab driver, beaten up on a subway, and her kids using her as a dartboard for their crappy dinner. I think the video was supposed to show that working women have it hard, so we should be nice to them. While that is true, that a working mother has probably the hardest job ever, if you walked into a law school, you would learn from talking to the students that their job, studying and being active in the law community is tough. Tougher than putting out fires. Tougher than building the pyramids in Egypt. Tougher than curing cancer. Tougher than trying to get into the pants of a nun. Tougher than anything you could possibly imagine. And they are right. It is tough. It is so tough to keep the general population believing that being a law student is the hardest possible job in the world. If you believed everything you’ve heard or read, the day of the average law student would look something like this:
6:00AM- Wake up, read Constitutional Law Assignment for next class
8:30 AM-Shower (optional)
8:45 AM Drive to school, listening to Posner on Criminal Procedure on CD
9:15 AM Order Egg Sandwich from Law School Cafeteria
9:20 AM Eat Egg Sandwich while reviewing Evidence Cases and Assignment
10:00 AM Go to Evidence Class- Where the marketplace of ideas takes over. Cover the topics of Hearsay Exceptions Present Sense Impression, Excited Utterance, Admissions by Party Opponent. Get called on while starting new topic of Business Record Exception. Impress professor and class with knowledge of the North Dakota exception to the Business Record Rule
12:00 PM Take 30 minutes to glance over Constitutional Law assignment
12:30 PM Go to Con Law. Have intense debate in class about the Reverse Commerce Clause and its Constitutionality in 1910’s. Make several impressive points on the Slaughterhouse cases.
2:00 PM Eat a turkey sandwich while rereading Business Organization Assignment.
4:30 PM Business Organizations. Sweat out that you never got to fully read assignment. G-d answers prayers by not getting called on. Listen to fascinating discussion on closely held corporations and how the business judgment rule applies. Learn about the cases involving Stockholder proxy votes. Realize I have not urinated since I woke up this morning.
6:30 PM Moot Court/Law Review/Mock Trial Work-Work real hard on making self outstanding and separating from the rest of staff. If in Moot Court, show how you found negative cases from a district Court in Guam that can be added to brief. If at law review, spend night arguing how Blue Book citations of Vatican Letters for a piece on the Church and the Law of the Textile Industry is wrong. If at Mock Trial practice, practice a cross-examination that ends with applauds, then discuss the techniques you learned over the weekend at a Regional Competition.
10:00 PM Drive home, listening to CD review for MPRE exam upcoming.
10:30 PM Start reading for tomorrow’s classes, Professional Responsibility and Jurisprudence
1:00 AM Drink 3rd cup of coffee of the day
3:00 AM Fall asleep in books, get toxic poisoning from having yellow highlighter in mouth
Alright, so that’s what the average law student would have you believe their day looked like. Let me show you what a real law student day looks like. And I am not talking someone like EDS day, because he actually goes to a job and then watches ESPN all night. I am going to do what my day looks like, but this is what every law kid can do and still get phenomenal grades. This is a blended look at my 2nd year of law school:
11:00 AM- Wake up, take a piss and a brush my teeth. Go back to bed
12:30 AM- Woken up by an annoying classmate asking me why I missed Evidence. Yell at them; make up story about how my car has a flat.
12:45 AM Get out of bed, take a shower, brush my teeth, then put on same jeans I have been wearing for 2 weeks.
1:00 PM Drive to school
1:10 PM Decide not to go to school, instead I go to lunch with some friends, have 2 beers and a bacon cheeseburger while discussing how we are going to get some outlines for finals.
2:30 PM Make my way to school finally. Stop and chat with a bunch of my friends who are eating decrepit law school lunch. Play mayor to the One L’s, and hide my growing pants snake while I make quick witty conversation with a hottie (they are a rarity).
3:30 PM Realize I missed the first hour of Con law. Decide to sneak in and sign attendance sheet at the end.
4:00 PM Go to Business Organizations. Have not read for class. Sit there and play tic tac toe with myself for an hour. Go to the bathroom during the 10 minute break, stay in for too long, and skip second half.
6:00 PM Realize I have trial practice. Call up trial team members and tell them I have a deadline for a mythical paper class I am taking. Tell them I will meet them tomorrow.
6:30 PM Head over to parents house to eat some free grub. Get yelled at by my mom for not making law review and being lazy.
8:00 PM Go to bar, if it Wednesdays, it is wing night. If its Thursdays, its law night. If its Monday or Tuesday, I am drinking on a friends couch.
12:00 AM Decide to leave bar, if at friends house, start thinking of practical jokes to play on them
1:00 AM Go home. Stay on IM for 2 hours, avoiding my work, my trial competition, and my basic hygiene. Talk to EDS and my friend Shapclown, whose company I just left.
3:00 AM Watch an Hour of old episodes of Who’s the Boss?
4:00 AM Pass out, not having accomplished a damn thing with my day
Well, it has been a while, I spent last week working and competing in a mock trial competition, but now I am back! This is the first of many posts this week; I started it two weeks ago before I got super busy with my dumb mock trial. More to come this week I promise, with my look at study groups coming up soon, and while not part of the law school myths, I am going to walk you guys through my now ended career of the gayest thing I have ever done, which is mock trials.
Alright here we go!
The day of the average law student
There used to be this song, I forget who sings it or the name. But the verse of the song is “She works hard for her money, so hard for her money. She works hard for her money so you better treat her right.” The video was good, it showed some 80’s style woman with big hair, pastel clothes, getting yelled at by her boss, groped by her cab driver, beaten up on a subway, and her kids using her as a dartboard for their crappy dinner. I think the video was supposed to show that working women have it hard, so we should be nice to them. While that is true, that a working mother has probably the hardest job ever, if you walked into a law school, you would learn from talking to the students that their job, studying and being active in the law community is tough. Tougher than putting out fires. Tougher than building the pyramids in Egypt. Tougher than curing cancer. Tougher than trying to get into the pants of a nun. Tougher than anything you could possibly imagine. And they are right. It is tough. It is so tough to keep the general population believing that being a law student is the hardest possible job in the world. If you believed everything you’ve heard or read, the day of the average law student would look something like this:
6:00AM- Wake up, read Constitutional Law Assignment for next class
8:30 AM-Shower (optional)
8:45 AM Drive to school, listening to Posner on Criminal Procedure on CD
9:15 AM Order Egg Sandwich from Law School Cafeteria
9:20 AM Eat Egg Sandwich while reviewing Evidence Cases and Assignment
10:00 AM Go to Evidence Class- Where the marketplace of ideas takes over. Cover the topics of Hearsay Exceptions Present Sense Impression, Excited Utterance, Admissions by Party Opponent. Get called on while starting new topic of Business Record Exception. Impress professor and class with knowledge of the North Dakota exception to the Business Record Rule
12:00 PM Take 30 minutes to glance over Constitutional Law assignment
12:30 PM Go to Con Law. Have intense debate in class about the Reverse Commerce Clause and its Constitutionality in 1910’s. Make several impressive points on the Slaughterhouse cases.
2:00 PM Eat a turkey sandwich while rereading Business Organization Assignment.
4:30 PM Business Organizations. Sweat out that you never got to fully read assignment. G-d answers prayers by not getting called on. Listen to fascinating discussion on closely held corporations and how the business judgment rule applies. Learn about the cases involving Stockholder proxy votes. Realize I have not urinated since I woke up this morning.
6:30 PM Moot Court/Law Review/Mock Trial Work-Work real hard on making self outstanding and separating from the rest of staff. If in Moot Court, show how you found negative cases from a district Court in Guam that can be added to brief. If at law review, spend night arguing how Blue Book citations of Vatican Letters for a piece on the Church and the Law of the Textile Industry is wrong. If at Mock Trial practice, practice a cross-examination that ends with applauds, then discuss the techniques you learned over the weekend at a Regional Competition.
10:00 PM Drive home, listening to CD review for MPRE exam upcoming.
10:30 PM Start reading for tomorrow’s classes, Professional Responsibility and Jurisprudence
1:00 AM Drink 3rd cup of coffee of the day
3:00 AM Fall asleep in books, get toxic poisoning from having yellow highlighter in mouth
Alright, so that’s what the average law student would have you believe their day looked like. Let me show you what a real law student day looks like. And I am not talking someone like EDS day, because he actually goes to a job and then watches ESPN all night. I am going to do what my day looks like, but this is what every law kid can do and still get phenomenal grades. This is a blended look at my 2nd year of law school:
11:00 AM- Wake up, take a piss and a brush my teeth. Go back to bed
12:30 AM- Woken up by an annoying classmate asking me why I missed Evidence. Yell at them; make up story about how my car has a flat.
12:45 AM Get out of bed, take a shower, brush my teeth, then put on same jeans I have been wearing for 2 weeks.
1:00 PM Drive to school
1:10 PM Decide not to go to school, instead I go to lunch with some friends, have 2 beers and a bacon cheeseburger while discussing how we are going to get some outlines for finals.
2:30 PM Make my way to school finally. Stop and chat with a bunch of my friends who are eating decrepit law school lunch. Play mayor to the One L’s, and hide my growing pants snake while I make quick witty conversation with a hottie (they are a rarity).
3:30 PM Realize I missed the first hour of Con law. Decide to sneak in and sign attendance sheet at the end.
4:00 PM Go to Business Organizations. Have not read for class. Sit there and play tic tac toe with myself for an hour. Go to the bathroom during the 10 minute break, stay in for too long, and skip second half.
6:00 PM Realize I have trial practice. Call up trial team members and tell them I have a deadline for a mythical paper class I am taking. Tell them I will meet them tomorrow.
6:30 PM Head over to parents house to eat some free grub. Get yelled at by my mom for not making law review and being lazy.
8:00 PM Go to bar, if it Wednesdays, it is wing night. If its Thursdays, its law night. If its Monday or Tuesday, I am drinking on a friends couch.
12:00 AM Decide to leave bar, if at friends house, start thinking of practical jokes to play on them
1:00 AM Go home. Stay on IM for 2 hours, avoiding my work, my trial competition, and my basic hygiene. Talk to EDS and my friend Shapclown, whose company I just left.
3:00 AM Watch an Hour of old episodes of Who’s the Boss?
4:00 AM Pass out, not having accomplished a damn thing with my day
posted by EDS | 10:00 AM
1 Comments:
JP:
I am going to show this to my mom so she can get off my case about why I didn't go to law school. I don't think my liver is made for being a law student.
I am waiting for the article on what happens when you study for the bar exama dn when you actually start working.
That song you refer to was by the Pointer Sisters.
AJS
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