Dancing Puppets

The purpose of this blog is to create a forum of meaningless and irrelevant rants for people with nothing better to do at that moment other than provide entertainment to others...

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Why Dancing Puppets? It seems customary to begin your blog with an explanation as to why you chose the name you did. In this case - "Dancing Puppets" - there is a simple reason. As mentioned above in the description of this blog, the purpose is to provide a forum for nonsensical and senseless rantings or perhaps the occassional profound and logical argument. However, this is not to promote the marketplace of ideas, or the exercise of free speech. No, no, no... Rather this blog exists simply to provide a continuing source of entertainment to its readers, and more importantly, to me. As the great Stewie likes to say... "Dance Puppets, Dance!"

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Top Ten List of Non-Sport, Sport Movies:

In sticking with the recent theme of movie lists, specifically sports related movies – I have come up with a list that fits the category that has been under debate. This list takes into account not just the greatness of the movie, but also the relationship to, and significance of the sport portrayed. In other words, number 2 or 3 is not necessarily a better movie than number 7 or 8, it may be a combination of the movie and the significance of sport. (The idea is to leave it open to argument and encourage some debate).
This list looks to capture the movies that involve significant incorporation of sports, yet cannot truly qualify as actual sports movies. It’s a good thing we have a bunch of law students on here to sort out that language and its application, so here goes… Feel free to comment on any or all of these with additions, subtractions and/or counter-arguments.

1. ‘Caddy Shack’ – one of the funniest movies ever. Under debate as to whether it is an actual Sports Movie. If it’s not, it obviously tops this list and many others.


2.‘Jerry Maguire’ – This is perhaps the best relationship/date movie ever. It has everything a guy wants and everything a girl wants – It’s got relationship crap, but also nudity and sex. It’s got sports, but also looks at the life of a pro-athlete from a family perspective as well. It’s got hard-hitting football scenes, but also the wife’s reaction to her husband getting the crap knocked out of him. It is really as close to a perfect movie as I’ve ever seen. Hey, your friends won't even call you gay if you like this movie.


3. ‘The Hurricane’ – terrific movie, better song – not about the boxing, but about the life and story.


4. ‘Finding Forrester’ – very good movie, not enough ball to be a sports movie, but definitely incorporates the ball. Another similar movie might be ‘O’ – in fact it might even be a better movie, nah, probably not.


5. ‘Blue Crush’ – honestly don’t remember the plot, except there were a bunch of girls in bikinis surfing a lot and I think I may have watched it three times in two days.

6. ‘The Big Lebowski’ – this is a great movie, hysterical. Has bowling, but it is not about the bowling, so it is definitely not a sports movie. “Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.” - Priceless. King Pin would fit in this category as well, but a level down.

7. This one might actually be closer to a sports movie, but I can’t decide. ‘Johnny Be Good’. This is about the college recruiting process, not actual football, so I would not qualify it as an actual Sports Movie. That’s why it makes this list instead. (This movie was decent, but by no means a great movie, but I was desperate, and it was an interesting and exaggerated perspective of the recruiting process).

8. This is one you’d probably never think of. ‘Fight Club’. Hey – street fighting is a sport - fight club - that’s like an organized league. This is a fantastic movie, and if I had the chutzpah, I’d put this on my list of actual sports movies, but alas, I am a wuss. On that note, the way Antonio Banderas wipes out Mexicans in ‘Desparado’ looks a lot like sport as well, but let’s not get carried away. Now that I think about it – how is ‘Gladiator’ not a sports movie? It is the essence of sports, the creation of professional sports. It has to be on the actual sports list.

9. ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ – ninja is definitely sport and this is a terrific movie. Perhaps one of my fondest childhood memories was watching this movie on family vacation in Florida with my father and brother and giving ‘high threes’ for a week after.

10. ‘Back to School’ – the great Rodney Dangerfield goes back to college. Very funny movie, sub-plot involves Dangerfield’s son’s venture into the world of team diving on the college level. Seriously, I had a really hard time coming up with a tenth. Feel free to fill one in. I thought about ‘Ladybugs’, another Dangerfield movie, but about girls’ soccer, then I realized it was boring.

Honorable mention –
- ‘Out Cold’ (I think that’s what it’s called). This movie is not widely known, but it made me laugh out loud. It was marketed as the modern-day ski/snowboard version of ‘Animal House’ – not quite, but hysterical nonetheless.
- ‘Animal House’ – there is one scene where Boon and Otter practice their golf swings off of Niedermeyer’s helmet. This is so far-removed from sports, granted. But since it is the greatest movie ever, the combination of its movie greatness plus its very insignificant sports use bumps it into honorable mention. Not really. I just love that movie.
- ‘Harry Potter’ does not make this list – but as soon as they make a movie about steroid-taking monstrosities playing Quidditch, it’s going right to the top of the list.

Your comments please…

6 Comments:

Blogger General R. Blie said...

I'll probably think of more, but you are missing The Last Boyscout. This would be high on my top ten, if not number 1. The opening sequence (when he scores a touchdown with the help of a handgun) is one of the best scenes in any movie. The rest of the movie just gets better from there.

And by the way, don't tell me who I can call gay (not that there's anything wrong with it). Jerry Mcguire was awful. It is a two hour Arliss episode without any comedy or Robert Wuhl. It does not belong on the top 10. I would have trouble sitting through it again.

--General R. Blie

11:48 AM  
Blogger Noyam said...

Wow. I would never have pegged you, especially after you whole wussification column, for a WUSS. I am totally with the General on Jerry Maguire. It is NOT a sports movie. It's not the perfect movie. It's the perfect movie weapon. The creators of annoying chick flicks got together, and deviously schemed a way to get women to get the shlep their guys into the theaters, with the pretense that this is a "sports movie." Any movie that does not have it's climactic scene (the Tidwell dancing notwithstanding) on some field of play isn't a sports movie. Even The Legend of Bagger Vance had its climax on a golf course.

Oh, and one more thing. I don't know why you liked it, but the only nudity in Jerry Maguire was Cuba Gooding, Jr.'s ass. Maybe that's why you liked it. ;-)

12:15 PM  
Blogger EDS said...

Maybe... but there is in fact nudity in the very beginning of the movie... the ex-girlfriend (I dont know her name).

1:15 PM  
Blogger EDS said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:15 PM  
Blogger EDS said...

freakin commie bastard.. dr. pepper's... again though, I am a Dr. Pepper's fan - it's just that Dr. Pepper is a minor league baseball team that only serves a purpose when Dr. Brown's is sold out or locked out...

1:27 PM  
Blogger Noyam said...

Why does everyone seem to think the Kelly Preston/Tom Cruise sex scene had major nudity? It didn't You saw more of Tom's ass than Preston's and barely, barely caught a glimpse of breast. I think the imagination is playing with the memory here.

4:28 PM  

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