The Tax on Females...
I recently was looking for the sports section in a Saturday edition newspaper and briefly caught a glimpse of the following headline - "Feminism's New Look." This immediately pissed me off because the word "feminism" usually does. I took a quick look at the group photo of all the "new look" feminists on the cover of the section to see if any were hot and when I realized they were all ugly, I moved on. But then I realized something and went right back to the cover picture. They all had long hair. Now, this really irked me for one reason.
It used to be that I could walk into a room and pick out any lesb---, I mean, any feminist in the room just by the look. The short hair, or men's clothes or whatever. But now they actually look like women. This is scary. It's like they've gone undercover so that you don't even know when it's safe to talk at work anymore. This is a bad situation. Something has to be done about it. I don't have any ideas right now, but I'm sure something will come to me.
Anyway, so obviously I didn't read the article (though I am now considering it in order to start training myself to be able to pick these people out in a group setting), but it got me thinking about feminist issues. I recently heard on TV some broads yapping about not getting paid as much at work as their equal male co-worker. In other words - 2 people same exact employment position, same education, same years experience - different salaries. Why? Different reproductive system. Makes perfect sense to me, but for some irrational reason (shocker) women don't seem to get it, so I will therefore explain.
Here is how it works. It's a very simple system.
It is actually a tax system. Woman are taxed for certain services and certain duties that they do not perform that men do perform. The form of tax is a lower salary and lower economic value to the business world. Here is what I mean:
Let's say I'm at work and a recently terminated disgruntled employee with an extra 'Y' chromosome (or whichever extra chromosome turns people into violent, half-retard rapists) comes into work with a semi-automatic and a list of demands and takes the whole place hostage. All of a sudden it somehow becomes the male's job to deal with the psycho while the women get to hide under the desks. In fact, when the professional FBI negotiator arrives on the scene, the first thing he will say to the unstable individual is, "well show us some good faith and let the women go."
Come on!!! I'm as scared as they are and my life is just as valuable, but somehow, I gotta stay behind and see this thing through to the end while the women get to waltz outside get hot soup and free therapy sessions.
Next scenario. I'm at a party or a social gathering of some kind. The white-trash degenerate 80's band that is performing on-stage uses fireworks indoors in a highly flammable environment and the whole place goes up like the Bagdhad skyline during 'shock and awe'. The men suddenly become ushers while the women and children get 'ushered' out to safety. Many, many more men will be maimed and killed than women and children. The women get grouped with the children all of a sudden in this catastrophic event scenario! Unreal!
Next situation. I'm on a cruise with my family and Hurricane Katrina's bad-ass sister in law with a deformed face starts to get pissed off in a close proximity to where the cruise ship I am contracting skin-cancer upon is currently situated. We are forced to evacuate the ship due to high waves, strong rain and the fact that the ship is suddenly going backside first into the water like in 'Titanic'. That's right.... you guessed it.... "Women and children to the rescue boats!!!" Poor me and the rest of the penis-possessing beings on board get to stand next to the captain and chef and toast to the future of our children and families. They will tell tales of our giant coconuts and bravery in this time of distress and how we saved the women and children. We will hear none of it, because our last words will be similar to those of a black guy in New Orleans, "glub, glub glub glub..."
I think you get the point. I can bring up many more scenarios, such as holding the door for someone or being the last one into a packed elevator. (Why is it that whenever I get to an entrance door - especially the really heavy ones in an office building or apartment complex - at the same time as a female, that she feels it is ok to step aside while I reach past her, open the door and hold it for her to walk through. Similarly, I could be waiting 10 minutes for the elevator in my apartment building, while holding 14 bags of groceries, yet some women will walk in 5 seconds before the elevator comes and feel as if she can just walk in before me. I'll tell you why it's ok. It's ok because they pay the tax!)
These are some of the reasons men make more and should make more than women in the same exact position. Because magically when catastrophe or emergency strikes, the very same strong-valued, hardcore femme-nazi with the short-length hair cut and the man-hating, independant, constantly pissed off attitude, becomes an innocent-looking, sweet-faced girl with pigtails and a need for protection! All of a sudden she needs a man's help. Well guess what honey, until you are willing to stand next to me in the fire and usher people out, until you begin negotiating with the hostage-taker, and until you help me put the children in the rescue boat and toast goodbye to the world as we sink together on a cruise ship, you will not make as much as I do. You will pay the "all of a sudden I need protection" tax.
This seems completely fair to me.
It used to be that I could walk into a room and pick out any lesb---, I mean, any feminist in the room just by the look. The short hair, or men's clothes or whatever. But now they actually look like women. This is scary. It's like they've gone undercover so that you don't even know when it's safe to talk at work anymore. This is a bad situation. Something has to be done about it. I don't have any ideas right now, but I'm sure something will come to me.
Anyway, so obviously I didn't read the article (though I am now considering it in order to start training myself to be able to pick these people out in a group setting), but it got me thinking about feminist issues. I recently heard on TV some broads yapping about not getting paid as much at work as their equal male co-worker. In other words - 2 people same exact employment position, same education, same years experience - different salaries. Why? Different reproductive system. Makes perfect sense to me, but for some irrational reason (shocker) women don't seem to get it, so I will therefore explain.
Here is how it works. It's a very simple system.
It is actually a tax system. Woman are taxed for certain services and certain duties that they do not perform that men do perform. The form of tax is a lower salary and lower economic value to the business world. Here is what I mean:
Let's say I'm at work and a recently terminated disgruntled employee with an extra 'Y' chromosome (or whichever extra chromosome turns people into violent, half-retard rapists) comes into work with a semi-automatic and a list of demands and takes the whole place hostage. All of a sudden it somehow becomes the male's job to deal with the psycho while the women get to hide under the desks. In fact, when the professional FBI negotiator arrives on the scene, the first thing he will say to the unstable individual is, "well show us some good faith and let the women go."
Come on!!! I'm as scared as they are and my life is just as valuable, but somehow, I gotta stay behind and see this thing through to the end while the women get to waltz outside get hot soup and free therapy sessions.
Next scenario. I'm at a party or a social gathering of some kind. The white-trash degenerate 80's band that is performing on-stage uses fireworks indoors in a highly flammable environment and the whole place goes up like the Bagdhad skyline during 'shock and awe'. The men suddenly become ushers while the women and children get 'ushered' out to safety. Many, many more men will be maimed and killed than women and children. The women get grouped with the children all of a sudden in this catastrophic event scenario! Unreal!
Next situation. I'm on a cruise with my family and Hurricane Katrina's bad-ass sister in law with a deformed face starts to get pissed off in a close proximity to where the cruise ship I am contracting skin-cancer upon is currently situated. We are forced to evacuate the ship due to high waves, strong rain and the fact that the ship is suddenly going backside first into the water like in 'Titanic'. That's right.... you guessed it.... "Women and children to the rescue boats!!!" Poor me and the rest of the penis-possessing beings on board get to stand next to the captain and chef and toast to the future of our children and families. They will tell tales of our giant coconuts and bravery in this time of distress and how we saved the women and children. We will hear none of it, because our last words will be similar to those of a black guy in New Orleans, "glub, glub glub glub..."
I think you get the point. I can bring up many more scenarios, such as holding the door for someone or being the last one into a packed elevator. (Why is it that whenever I get to an entrance door - especially the really heavy ones in an office building or apartment complex - at the same time as a female, that she feels it is ok to step aside while I reach past her, open the door and hold it for her to walk through. Similarly, I could be waiting 10 minutes for the elevator in my apartment building, while holding 14 bags of groceries, yet some women will walk in 5 seconds before the elevator comes and feel as if she can just walk in before me. I'll tell you why it's ok. It's ok because they pay the tax!)
These are some of the reasons men make more and should make more than women in the same exact position. Because magically when catastrophe or emergency strikes, the very same strong-valued, hardcore femme-nazi with the short-length hair cut and the man-hating, independant, constantly pissed off attitude, becomes an innocent-looking, sweet-faced girl with pigtails and a need for protection! All of a sudden she needs a man's help. Well guess what honey, until you are willing to stand next to me in the fire and usher people out, until you begin negotiating with the hostage-taker, and until you help me put the children in the rescue boat and toast goodbye to the world as we sink together on a cruise ship, you will not make as much as I do. You will pay the "all of a sudden I need protection" tax.
This seems completely fair to me.
posted by EDS | 9:37 AM
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