Funny

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1715915/context/popular/

Whatever...

THIS IS A CEILING MURAL IN A SMOKER'S LOUNGE.

Marketing genius? Or an organization full of retards? I choose the latter...

Below is the new Knicks slogan that I heard on the radio this morning. Not sure if this is supposed to turn you on to the team or if it is a ploy by competing radio and TV stations to keep you away from MSG. Either way, this reminded me why I cannot wait for the Maui Invitational to start... Thank god for college basketball.

"New coach. New season. Same old Knicks attitude."

Neon Deion to the Rescue

This Picture and caption appeared on TheOnion.com

We all love Prime Time, so it has to get posted.

Incoming North Korean Missile Intercepted By Deion Sanders

Borat

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1713836

"The Bridge"

There is a new movie coming out next week called "The Bridge". It is a documentary about people jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. It is supposed to be really fascinating.

Interviews with people who happened to be there when someone jumped, footage of guys jumping, interviews with families and an interview with a guy who survived the jump.

These guys camped out there for a year and caught 24 of the 25 splashes in 2005... I'm so in!
This stuff is fascinating. 24 jumps, 24 different stories and troubles that we can only ponder and never know. Truly frightening how many people kill themselves and how sick these people must be mentally not to be able to cope.


This is not meant to be a humorous post in any way. I am seriously intrigued by what drives people to do this stuff. Watch this trailer and tell me how you cannot be interested in this:
The Bridge


Thousands of people walk this bridge every single day. About 25 times a year someone takes an unexpected right turn and hurls themselves from 250+ feet, 25+ stories into the water. This is no high dive act. You hit the water at that speed (35-40 mph) from that height, you aint breaking water, you're breaking bones... and lots of em. It's like hitting cement.

Some people have a heartattack and die before they hit. Some initially survive and drown. Some hit a wave or strong current break and actually get sheered into pieces like falling on the sharp end of a huge knife. Some people actually hit the water and start to swim (body's natural instinct) but die within minutes of internal injuries.

People who jump don't just jump and die. It is a vile, gory death. So, why do people do it? Most people kill themselves in private. A few come out to the most public of places and do it in front of joggers, commuters and families taking an afternoon stroll. Why? What could have been so bad in their lives that this is their decision. I think people don't realize what mental illness is, and how it can take over control of a person.

I hope this movie is as revealing and educational as it seems. While there is no way for it to give us insight into the mindset these people had before they jumped, perhaps it will push people to realize that this is a real issue and one which needs attention.

You Tube, You Know You Do...

You Tube has to be one of the greatest internet inventions of our time. This website, until some kind of legal battle brings it down offers anything you can imagine to help you make a point. People can waste a whole day or week of work on this site just checking out different clips.

One site can bring you so much entertainment. It can make you laugh,


cry,


yell,


cringe,


all in a span of 10 minutes. After I finished putting this together, I looked back at all these video clips and realized, that each emotion attached could be connected to any of the clips. Except the Theisman clip, that's a cringer all the way.

Funny - Check it out

http://i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=20076

It's hard not to laugh at something like this:

Cory Lidle's doomed plane didn't just crash into anybody's apartment. It exploded into the empty bedroom of Kathleen Caronna, the Manhattan woman who was critically injured when a balloon knocked part of a lamppost onto her head during the 1997 Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Straight out of a movie...(Anchorman)

Why is it necessary for this to be news?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15237612/from/RS.5/

Someone please explain...

By the way... 'Anchorman' is one of the funnier movies of the last bunch of years. Many people don't appreciate the humor. Between 'Anchorman' and 'Dodgeball', we have two modern-day classics...

"Effin 'A, Cotton... Effin 'A..."

So You Had a Bad Day

Can you imagine you get out of work early on a Wednesday afternoon and head home to your nice upper east side apartment? Not a care in the world feeling quite immortal as you sit in the shower and think about whether you will watch a replay of 'Baseball Tonight' or 'NFL Live' when you get out. Then, as you get out of the shower and start to dry off, deciding in your head whether you'd prefer melted cheese on bread from the microwave, or old school grilled cheese -which would require more work of course-while you watch ESPN.

Then you step into your room to get dressed and decide to take a peak out the window and across the street to see if the hot girl who lives across the way maybe got out early and also decided to shower at the same time, and who knows, maybe you catch a peak, or maybe she catches a peak (either way works for you). Of course, she has a real job, so she isn't there, and you return your focus to the task at hand - food and football. You turn around a little too quickly and stub your toe on the corner of the radiator. You know, the really antique metal radiators. The kind that not only makes your toe swell up immediately (yes, the pinky toe, the one that hurts like hell, but you cannot do anything about), but also breaks the nail on the toe and causes you to bleed. Kinda makes your foot look like one of those disgusting Lamasil commercials.

So now you are no longer enjoying your free afternoon. Instead you are on your knees in a towel looking under the sink for a bandaid to put on your toe. Of course, you forget that you left the cabinet above the sink open and as you stand up you slam your head into the open door. The kind of hit that makes you feel like your head split open, but really does no damage other than a headache. But enough of an impact that you now head into your kitchen to get some ice out of the freezer for the top of your head.

Of course your freezer is packed full with food that you will never eat. You know, the leftovers that your Mom couldn't get your Dad or siblings to eat, so she decided that she could convince you that she was doing you a favor giving you food for the apartment. Both of you know you will never eat it, but both of you also know that you would never insult her by not taking it. So you say, "Mom, I'm covered with food for the week, thanks anyway." And she responds, "that's OK honey, just throw it in the freezer. It will last forever." Which of course you do, and it of course does. Which is why you now have to stick your hand across the top of all the frozen goods to the back of the freezer for the ice tray without pushing any of the food out onto your feet. We all know how much THAT would hurt.

You conquer that task and now you are sitting on the couch, in a towel, with a bandaid on your toe and ice on your head, and of course you've now missed NFL Live AND Baseball Tonight, and the only thing on is a re-run of the Poker World Series and some Asian-Lesbian woman playing pool against herself. It's either the Asian-Lesbo, a re-run episodes of Dharma and Greg, or watching a stupid Chevy Chase National Lampoon's Vacation movie for the 210th time.

You are thinking to yourself how maybe you would have been better off just staying at work. But you convince yourself that if you can look out the window one more time and see if the girl across the street who leaves her shades open got home early, it would all be worth it. So you head to the window, and as you pull back your shades you see a 4 seat, single engine airplane barreling right at you...

Seriously, what are the chances of actually having this kind of day? All I know is some poor soul who died today on the Upper East Side of Manhattan has family who will have to explain his death by saying he died in a plane crash.

Friend: "Oh really! What happened? Where was the flight heading?"

Family: "Don't know. He wasn't on the plane. The plane actually crashed into him."

Friend: "Wow. Where was he? At the airport? On the ground somewhere?"

Family: "Nope. He was at home watching a Chevy Chase movie (you know you all would have picked that) and the plane came right through his window and took out his whole apartment."

Friend: "Wow. How many people died? Did the whole building come down?"

Family: Sighs heavily. "No, just him. Just his apartment. Plane actually came through his window and sat down on the couch. Landed right on the remote control and flipped to Dharma and Greg."

What a crappy day this guy just had...

The sad state of our society

Look what got featured on the Yahoo homepage.
Print Lovin' On Your Toast

This ridiculous article appeared in one of the most read, most viewed sections on the internet. Who would read this useless garbage? (I ask myself). Apparently, there are 25+ pages and well over 400 comments worth of losers who took the time to read, ponder and respond to this critical issue of burning toast into a design. For the love of losers!

Here are some of the comments:

Posted by wanagi006
i work the A.M. shift in a deli,i would LOVE to send some messages on toast LOL
You are uneducated AND a loser. What could you possibly write with a toaster that sends a message of F.U. to a patron better than a thick wad of phlegm-filled saliva in the relevant a--hole's tasty burger. Furthermore, what will you do when you get fired from your dream job of serving smelly truckers coffee at 4:00 in the morning? You better get a long pair of rubber gloves, because it's off to the stud farm to help out large horses with E.D.

Posted by elyse_1966
Well, I mixed feelings about it. On one hand I think it is completely useless, and yet, I would love to send my husband to work with a picture of my ass on his B.L.T. It could be one way to hurry your husbands home ladies!
Well isn't this one interesting. Mixed feelings about a piece of toast from the kinky lady whose husband works at the construction site. Lady, your ass is the last thing your husband wants to think about at work. Chances are he spends half his day staring at the office girl's ass, and the ass of every other woman who may walk past the site. In fact, one of his goals when he leaves for work everyday is to rid his head of any possible visions of your ass. You put your ass on a B.L.T. and he will be trading his lunch off the gay affirmative action guy who cleans the hydraulic excavator after they finish digging it through the mud. It's either that or he might just jump under the steamroller.

Posted by kimhumphreys5
What a waste of money. Why not feed the hungry instead?
Oh Jesus Christ! As if that was even an option, feeding the hungry. Here's an idea: Get Laid! Better yet - Kill ya self!

Next!

Posted by zzyzx7
I agree with lindsey_112_14103 - yeah, the thing is essentially useless, and yeah, the world can live without it, but hey, I think its a clever invention. No one out there can tell me that they wouldn't want to see it in action...
Oh! You agree with lindsey_112_14103, do you? Well if lindsey_112_14103 jumped off the Empire State Building, would you jump as well? Would you? Please? Can you?
By the way, as a retort to the assumption at the end of your wonderful comment - I would not want to see it in action. What're you gonna do about it? Nothing? That's what I thought.

Posted by charming_hispanic
talk about being bored... in my opinion this is just one more way to print out porn...ha ^^
This guy's pretty funny - but the funniest part is his username - "charming hispanic" - priceless.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the man who molested and killed Jon Benet Ramsey.

Posted by chicshateme2
One of theses needs to hit the market before Christmas. I'd eat more toast if I had one of these. I wonder who will be the first sucker to propose on toast. Will you marry me toast?!? Now thats golden Pony Boy!!!
There is a reason your username is true.

Posted by hay21ley
Can be a smart idea now but why waste materials. As I heard we'll buy because it sounds fun but yet it will be sitting in the closet in a month or so. Shouldn't we be finding cures for alzhiemers not creating art toast?
Believe it or not, there are a lot like this. Because there are actually people out there who think that the same person who thought up the idea of burning toast a little more in one place on the bread as opposed to another place on the bread could come up with a cure for a disease that has been around for ages.
A retard with a heroin addiction could have invented this by accident.
Besides, without Alzheimer's how would your significant other avoid committing suicide?

Posted by eriq73
LOL... imagine the possibilities, myTOAST.com ?! web toasting (instead of web hosting), like you could even "burn" a disc onto a tortilla! Or maybe a celebrity "Toasting" like they do on the cable comedy network... :)
Or maybe, when I'm trying to think of a good way to post a comment while I'm sitting at my dead end 9-5 job in a mid-size corporation with crappy benefits and no overtime pay, I'll choose the name 'eriq' instead of using my real name, Eric (you see, adding the 'q' keeps the same sound there, but removes my actual REAL name from the post). Then after work, I will head over to the local pub and sit at the bar and drink club soda. I will watch very beautiful blonde ladies walk in and out and will never interact with them any more than our eyes meeting while I give my 'horny teenager' stare and they return the 'concerned that you might be a rapist" look. Then I will go hang out with my nerdy friends from high school over the weekend. We will work on our book club website and tell made up stories about all the girls we met that week hanging out in our respective bars.

Freakin Loser.

Posted by elyse_1966
I think it would be fun to send my boss a b.l.t with a picture of me giving him the "bird"
Apparently one post wasn't enough for elyse 1966, who previously posted about putting her ass on a B.L.T. for her husband. Here's an idea: pull the old switcheroo. Give your boss the ass, and your husband the finger - You will get a lot further in life.

Let's take another one before we go...
Posted by solochick101
it would be really cool to be able to send messages to your friends on toast from your house!
Sadly, this chick's screename says it all. If they would turn this message board into a dating room, a lot of people would be finding mates they never knew existed. 'chicshateme2' meet 'solochick101' - the two of you can eat toast, send messages, grow old, fat and retarded together.

The end.

No I did not read through all 400+ posts to find these. I just clicked through and read a couple per page. Check it out if you want more humor - this thing is a goldmine of laughs.