He's a FAAA-AAAG!

Am I the only one who thinks The Sopranos has been awesome this season? Tony in particular - he's got the glare back and everything. I'm actually psyched up for Sunday nights again. I've been waiting like three weeks to make this quick stupid post because I wanted to make sure they didn't start strong and then fizzle midway through as they have the past few seasons. But, they are a good amount of episodes into the season now and as long as they tie stuff together at the end and give an ending to each story line (a problem they have had in the past), this will be a golden season.

There are few things funnier than the mafia dealing with homosexuality amongst their own. Mid-life crisis... HA!

Here we go again

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12351695/

Read the whole thing through. Disturbing.

I'll give you the highlights:

• The bomber, carrying a bag stuffed with 10 pounds of explosives, approached the guard at the restaurant’s entrance, witnesses said. As he was being checked, he detonated the explosives. Police said the guard was torn in half by the blast.
• Witness Israel Yaakov said the blast killed a woman standing near her husband and children.
  “The father was traumatized. He went into shock. He ran to the children to gather them up and the children were screaming, ’Mom! Mom!’ and she wasn’t answering. She was dead already ... It’s a shocking scene,” Yaakov said.
• “I was about to get into my car, and boom! There was an explosion. A bit of human flesh landed on my car and I started to scream,” she said.
• Her car was 50 yards from the explosion and its windshield was smeared with blood.
• The wounded were treated on sidewalks. One man was lying on his side, his shirt pushed up and his back covered by bandages. A bleeding woman was wheeled away on a stretcher. A dazed-looking man walked near the site, his white T-shirt splattered with blood.
• The ground was covered with glass shards and blood.

And these people claim to want to form a civilized state. I hope every last one of them contracts AIDS after being raped by wild donkeys.

I Have No Time For You

I've been busy, so back off.

I. I just got back from a business trip. I hate flying. I've told you that already. I'm sure you will hear more about it in the future. Two things about my flight home:

a. There was a woman who got on the plane who was so freaking fat that she had to turn sideways to walk down the aisle. I swear to you, this woman was gigantic. I didn't turn around to look (I'll explain why in a minute in section b.) but I cannot imagine how she fit into a coach seat. It should be a law that if you are that fat you should have to pay for a first class seat. Better yet, they should just strap you to the outside of the aircraft. I pity the poor soul who had her overhanging blob stuffed in next to him.

b. I sat next to a young couple. Probably mid-20's or so. They spent the entire flight more than making out. I'm talking hands down the pants, etc... Now, a few years ago this would have made me uncomfortable and perhaps would have caused me to keep my head facing the opposite direction for the entire 2 and half hour flight. Not anymore. These things no longer bother me for a few reasons:

i. I'm older and more mature and know more
ii. I am married with 2 kids; Been there done that
iii. I'm always looking for entertainment value in things - even things like this

So anyway, this couple was literally all over each other the entire flight. It was quite exciting. I kept looking over to see how far the guy was getting because I wanted to make sure when I retold the story, that I didn't have to make any parts up. Needless to say, it got too dirty to write over. I know the bathrooms are small on these domestic flights, but please, I'm sitting right here. So of course, every few minutes I would look over and give them the "I'm sitting right F%&*ing here" look (note: I made sure before I started the process that I was bigger than the guy. I could kick his ass if necessary, so I proceeded).

This guy was working real hard. This wasn't you ordinary make-out session. This guy was pulling out (no pun intended) all the tricks. I'm going to spare my parents the embarrassment and not go into detail here, but he was doing the "lean over to look out the window" gimmick, the "hold my hand, which happens to be on my inner thigh" trick and even the old and overused "whisper in the ear" move. Pathetic. Apparently this guy is desperate.

II. Ok, this post is starting to look like a law school outline with all the letters and numbers. Screw this.