Jews for Jesus...

Talk about people with way too much time on their hands...

This silly mix of Jews and Christians seek to pry Jewish youth away from their beliefs and foundation by appealing to the teenage desire to rebel. They feast on instability and immaturity. Real honorable these putzes are. They are like religious child molesters. They take advantage of young people during vulnerable periods of their lives and convince them to do things they don't really want to do. They are no better than a Priest telling an altar boy the only real way to absolve all of his sins.

Jews for Jesus do a large bulk of their recruiting on college campuses accross the country. The place where teenagers specifically go to get away from their foundation and to challenge their beliefs. Not to be force-fed garbage and programmed to believe it. I never got approached by a Jews for Jesus advocate during college, but in law school and on the subway I've been approached many times. Thanks to years of Hebrew school, I often know the bible passages and their true interpretations better than the unemployed shmuck who apparently has nothing better to do other than entertain me on my ride to work or as a break from studying for law exams.

One time during the finals period of my third year in law school a couple of these degenerates ending up wandering around our law school campus. A couple of friends of mine actually brought one of the Jews for Jesus guys over to the place I was sitting in the cafeteria to talk to me. He then proceeded to gather a bunch of other law school students around the two of us just to watch the Jews for Jesus guy feel stupid. -

(I know, I'm a dork...but the satisfaction of watching this guy squirm is something I wasn't going to pass up - can you imagine, here is a guy who probably failed out of school, got his job application rejected by McDonalds, wasn't any good at anything, and maybe even contemplated suicide - and he finally found a niche by memorizing and misinterpreting bible passages to young, immature Jewish kids. Now, he finally feels like he is part of a group, a member of a team, like he belongs somewhere. He is no longer depressed because he has a goal in life, and he has other pathetic people just like him to share accomplishments with. Lo and behold he sits down next to some Jewish kid who is looking for any reason not to study for law exams, easy kill, right?... Bam! - the kid went to a Hebrew high school that gave a mandatory clinic on Christmas of Senior year about how to argue with Jews for Jesus advocates. But being that this kid's high school administration has a sense of humor, they didn't just teach him the truth, but they also taught him how to make the other guy feel stupid and insignificant to a point that he doesn't have anything to say and actually sounds a bit like Terri Schiavo - 'bblrbpbbbttt'. So anyway, this poor guy comes in high with confidence and feeling very important to his cause, and then gets completely demoralized, in front of a crowd of law school students so depressed by final exams that they seize the opportunity to partake in the destruction of another human being's self-worth. What a great afternoon that was. Almost as great as convincing the contracts professor that the elevator alarm was a fire drill and getting class dismissed an hour early, "Hey professor, remember the Seton Hall fire...? We can't take a chance..." - a very proud moment for me) -
back to the point...

About half way through with this guy it got so pathetic and embarrassing, that the friend who originally thought up this brilliant idea began to feel bad for the Jesus-loving homo that I was berating and broke through to save him by saying, "I like to have lots and lots of premarital sex... does that mean I'm going to hell?"

Anyway, where do these people come from? On a repeat of an old Howard Stern show this morning, I heard Stern refer to the Jews who are "for Jesus" as people who felt inadequate in their synagogues. They couldn't be president of their synagogue and felt left out. They figure they'll be "for Jesus" and everyone will talk about them. It's their attention-getter.

I beg to differ. To me, the people in the Synagogue who never get to be president don't become Jews for Jesus advocates... they become little league coaches. It is generally not the Jews that are active in the Jews for Jesus converting process, unless they themselves are brainwashed first.

Therefore, the originators here are in fact Christians. I will say off-the-bat, mainstream Christianity condemns Jews for Jesus. While mainstream Christianity very much believes in the conversion of Jews to Christianity, either for public policy reasons or other they say Jews for Jesus is not the way to go. Which kind of makes sense. I mean, how could you be a Jew for Jesus? It just doesn't make sense. The whole concept is stupid. Wasn't the whole foundation of Christianity a bunch of Jews for Jesus??? If that's the case, then any Jew who is indeed "for Jesus" is not a Jew for Jesus, but a Christian.

Was Paul a Christian or a Jew for Jesus? Same damn thing, right? If a Christian decided that he didn't believe in Jesus, or the Holy Trinity, but in fact believed that only one true God exists and that God rules all and has absolutely no physical attributes... would he be a Christian for Monotheism? I think not. If a terrorist rotting in an Israeli jail cell decides one day that 70 hairy Arab virgins with absolutely no sexual experience just isn't worth killing all those children for, and denounces Allah and curses Mohammad as the evil, violent, child-raping animal that he was, and decides to practice aspects of Hindu - would we call him a Muslim for cow-worship or an Islamic Fundamentalist for the golbalization of beef jerky and slurpies? No!
So there is no such thing as a Jew for Jesus. Either you are Jewish or you are not. That simple.

What can we do about this problem? This is a tough question.

Nuclear weapons are unfortunately taken out of the equation here because these people live amongst us and too many innocent lives would be lost. Some collateral damage is always expected and indeed acceptable (see Hiroshima and Nagasaki, The Bombing of), but we're talking about American lives here, not Japanese, so it's a bigger loss.

Deprogramming centers already exist. This is in that case where the child finally comes home from college to her Orthodox Jewish family and says, "Mom, Dad, Bubbe (grandma), Zaydie (grandpa), I believe in Jesus now and let me tell you why..." To which the father will often respond, "What?!? This is what I sent you to college for? Why couldn't you just be a pothead? Or at least be on one of the Girls Gone Wild Videos during a frat house party? Bring me an illegitimate child! Anything! Freakin Jesus? Jesus Christ! What's wrong with you." Zaydie won't respond because the stroke he just had has numbed his entire face to a point where he is incoherent. Bubbe can't hear and Mom already has the deprogrammer on the phone because she saw this coming.

Hand-to-Hand Combat, not in the violent sense, but rather matching the recruiting efforts with anti-Jews for Jesus missionaries. This too is problematic being that most people who would be equipped to handle this task are employed or busy trying to add some type of value to society. Occasionally schools will put together quick projects and send people into the field for a limited time to counter out the Jews for Jesus people, but it's not for a prolonged time and only has a small effect in relation to the population of the Jews for Jesus following.

There is a whole army of unemployed, no-talent, child-molesting fanatics out there. We can't defeat them, we can only hope to contain them. If you have any other thoughts on the matter, feel free to add them in the comments.

Hockey is for girls...

http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=qDf_ExrRQUU&feature=Views&page=2&t=m&f=b

Spike the Strike, Mike!

I don't really care so much about this topic... that said - A subway operator makes 60k ?!?!?!?!?!?!

Jesus!

The MTA should go on strike, they're getting raped. There is no way these people should be making that much. 8 bucks an hour, final offer!

You ever see those guys driving the train? They didn't go to Wharton or Harvard Law, I guarantee that. Yet, friends of mine with hard-earned law degrees are making low to mid 40k's working government law jobs. It seems fair to you that a subway operator with a GED and a few weeks of training makes 20k more a year?
No F-ing Way!

MTA workers earn between $47,000 and $55,000 annually. This is disgusting!

My argument is simply based on the fact that these TWA workers possess no skill or education (which I guess is why they need a union so badly). Based on that, there is no way they should be able to argue for such a salary.

I know, I know.... Athletes make millions of dollars, teachers make nothing, ER Doctors make nothing and who adds more to society? Enough of that argument. It's a bunch of crap.

Even athletes possess a certain skill that we desire to see performed. Anyone can be a subway operator. Not anyone can be a football player, Teacher, ER doctor, lawyer, etc...

The discrepancy between an ER doctor and a football player is a society-created discrepancy. Nobody in their right mind would think that a football player adds more value to the world than a teacher or ER doctor. But think about it this way:

On a daily basis, who adds more value to your individual world - an ER doctor who you hopefully will never have to meet, or Tiki Barber. It's football season - All Tiki, All The Time - That's why Dr. Shmendrickson makes 30 G's and The Tikster makes a few mil. More people go to see Tiki torch the Chiefs than to see Dr. S. perform an emergency rectal exam on one of R. Kelly's underaged fans.

Also, who is more easily replaced -a football star or an ER doctor? Once again, the ER doctor. There are more people that graduate medical school than people who can play major league sports.

That explains the discrepancy in those fields. But I cannot understand how a completely replaceable train operator with no verifiable skills can expect to make more than people who spend tens of thousands of dollars on higher education (whether it be doctor or lawyer or other)...

Meanwhile, these bums are out striking, the ciy is a mess and of course I'm the victim of the one disadvantage of driving to work - that's right, I'm at work - on time. No traffic, no problems, no staying home. I'm sitting in my office as usual as if the strike doesn't exist.

I'm kind of hoping Bloomberg pulls a Reagan on this one. "F.U., you're all fired!"

Good luck finding other work, you no-talent assklowns!

F. the French...

No reason, just because...

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
-Mark Twain.

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
-General George S. Patton.

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
-Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." Marge Simpson "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
-Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
-Rush Limbaugh

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
-Regis Philbin.

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."
-Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of France either"
-Jay Leno.

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
-David Letterman

"Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada."
-Ted Nugent

"War without France would be like ... uh ... World War II. "

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
-Dennis Miller.

"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."
-Alan Kent

"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
-Argus Hamilton

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day-the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.'"
-Rep. Roy Blunt (MO)

"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried."
-Rep. R. Blount (MO)

"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining."
-John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.

"French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney (AP), Paris, March 5, 2003 The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists"

King of All Media

Just worth noting that Howard Stern broadcast his last show today on terrestrial radio. He's nuts, but so entertaining and intriguing. Unfortunately at this point I cannot afford to buy Sirius Radio. If anyone needs any holiday gift ideas - there it is.

Side point - Thousands of people showed up on the streets of NYC today to wish farewell to Stern during his last broadcast. Don't these people work???

White trash...

Some Of The Things That Keep Me Awake At Night

-- "God's Green Earth"

I don't like this phrase. My Uncle recently made the following statement:

"You heard it here first. There is no way on God's green earth that the White Sox will repeat! As a matter of fact, they will not make the playoffs in '06."

Now, assuming that by saying God's green earth you are speaking from God's perspective of the earth, wouldn't it really be God's blue earth? Because the common accepted theory is that from "God's perspective" means from above. If you ever looked at satellite pictures of the earth, it is in fact more blue than green. In fact - there is a lot of brown in there too. It is scientific fact that something like 75% of the earth is made up of water. So unless you were speaking of God's green earth as an actual parcel of grass or shrubbery (that has not browned yet for winter) that God is standing on as this comment is being made, perhaps his comment should have read as follows:

"You heard it here first. There is no way on God's blue earth that the White Sox will repeat!"
OR
"You heard it here first. There is no way on this grassy patch of God's green earth (not including the 75% water) that the White Sox will repeat!"

My Uncle, being the smartass that he is, immediately responded with the following:

"Why are you assuming that God looks at earth from a satellite? Its God's green earth because the fields are green. Within that earth are also blue oceans. But, I am not making a statement about God's blue earth as I am stating that the Sox will not win on earth. They are not playing water polo. Had they been, it likely would have been blue earth."

You see - my Uncle was clearly going with the specific route whereas I was arguing on a general basis. Either way, without wasting your time (which if I was really wasting your time, that would imply you have something to do right now, which clearly you do not - but that's off-topic), my Uncle and I agreed that certainly if the Chicago White Sox were to be playing somehow at Boise State - it would in fact for sure be "God's Blue Earth".

Whatever... Just noting...

-- My blackberry screen has a background light, but the actual keypad does not.

This one bugs me to no end. Picture this scenario: I'm driving 70mph on my way home from work. I have my knees positioned so that I can actually steer the car without my hands. I have my hands furiously typing away on my blackberry, and my head is constantly patrolling back and forth between my work email and the road. (Ok, I know this is dangerous, and I know if I saw someone doing this I would probably write about what a complete and utter retard that person is, but clearly my emails are far more important than that other person's and mine clearly cannot wait an extra half-hour until I arrive safely home). Now, this is all fine and good during the day because as my head patrols back and forth between the keypad, the screen and the road, I can easily maintain my place. However, now it becomes winter and I drive home from work in complete blackness... I can no longer see the keypad because the only light on the blackberry is for the screen. This is very dangerous.

Just a note - I believe this issue has been addresses in the newer models which my firm has not provided for me yet. Nonetheless I look forward to the day where I can increase my chance of surviving the ride home exponentially with this keypad background light.

-- The Lack of Stupid People on TV

Ok, so this one doesn't really keep me up at night and there ARE plenty of stupid people on TV. But not this kind of stupid. Seriously, there are few things that can be more entertaining than retarded kids trying to hump a doorknob or a dumb blonde broad getting sexually harrassed at work without even realizing. How come there aren't shows with that as a premise? Someone is missing out on a hit series. Forget 'The Bachelor' and 'Real World' - we need 'Amber and Corky Trapped in a House for 10 Days - Who Will Drive Who Mad First?' You'd watch it. You know how I know - You watched 'The Simple Life'. It's ok, we all did, and we all found it entertaining to see Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie show the entire world that just because you are rich and famous doesn't mean you are good-looking or intelligent. The offspring of a retarded monkey that mated with a parrot with a lisp would have more common sense than, and speak more intelligently and clearly than those two ridiculous whores. That's what makes watching them so much fun. We need more people like that on TV.

I know where to find them. Law school. I can run auditions just from my class in law school and put together a great reality series starring 4 somewhat booksmart people with the social skills of a rabid racoon and the common sense of a coked-up streetwalker. We can put them in different scenarios to succeed and watch them completely mess up their lives and the lives of people around them. How can you not watch that?


More to come eventually... feel free to add to the list - or don't, I don't give a crap.

My Night Without Phone, Internet and Cable

I moved yesterday. Moving sucks.

There were actually a good four or five times during the day where I tried to sneak off and go to work, and each time my wife would see me starting to get my stuff together and say something to the tune of, "like hell you're going anywhere before this stuff is moved out of the apartment." Then the stuff is finally on the truck and on the way to the new house, and again I make my move to get out... "If you leave, I will be changing the locks BEFORE you get back." So I missed work yesterday, and actually MISSED it in the true sense of the word. Few things are worse than packing up your whole life and moving it elsewhere. Truth is, few things are better either...

Anyway, we moved yesterday which means that phone, internet, cable, etc are not going to be set up till today. You got it...my worst nightmare - no cable last night.

Phone I can live without. I have a cell phone on which people I give a crap to talk to know how to reach me. If I don't want to talk to that person, I can click the phone to voicemail which is a great feature. The click to voicemail feature on cell phones deserves a paragraph, so here it is:

This feature is awesome for a couple of reasons. First, (since cell phones have caller ID) you can see who is calling and decide instantaneously that you are too busy to talk even if you are sitting on your couch watching a replay of the 2001 Byung Yung Kim special on YES.
Second, you can actually insult people you don't wish to speak to by clicking off early. You see, when you click off a cell phone to voicemail, everyone knows it didn't ring out. When you call a cell phone and it rings out, it will usually ring about 6 or 7 times before going to voicemail. Usually if clicked to voicemail, it's a 2-3 ring maximum, and is very abrupt and rude. That's why I love it. When it's family or close friend and you click off, they generally know you are busy and that you will call back. But when it's a not-so-close friend or relative, and you click off, it's like a big "F.U." with a hint of "you really think you're important enough to my life for me to pick up the phone while I'm watching Chuck Knoblauch hit the biggest 3-run homer of his life for the 4ooth time?" Whatever - great feature.

Anyway, phone I can live without. No phone calls from rednecks down south badly mispronouncing my name and trying to get me to sign up for some kind of investment. Seriously, if someone calls you with a big-time southern drawl, don't you automatically assume a deduction of like 45% of their brain cells from the average normal human amount? There is no way in hell someone who sounds half-retarded like that is going to convince me what to do with my money. "Sir, how 'bout we go ahead 'n sign yas up fir one of our here financial plans. You and ya'all family would git 'bout say a percentage return of righ' round three percents. Can we go ahead 'n sign yas up fir that sir?" Jesus...

Internet is a little tougher, but I can get by. I am a big email person and do a lot of my communicating via email. You might say it's because I'm antisocial and afraid to deal with people in a reality setting such as face to face or on the phone, but I would say screw you - it's because emails I can answer at my own convenience, think through the response, and ultimately - ignore and pretend I never received. However, cell phones have another great feature. I can actually check my email through my cell phone (though replying is a real pain in the tuches with the phone pad).

Cable - this was bad. I've gotten hooked on being able to watch a sports event or movie I like at basically anytime during the day or night. I felt like an withdrawing alcoholic with Delirious Tremens last night when I didn't have my fix of college basketball or Animal House. I was too tired to unpack, my 2 year old was too excited to sleep and I had no way of relaxing or calming him down. Usually a little basketball, baseball or football calms him down before bed. I basically spent most of the night pacing around the house trying to think of something to do, but to no avail. I know old people like to blabber about the times before TV, but seriously - what did you people do? Why I am even bothering to ask old people a question in a blog is beyond me, but there it is.

Finally, when all was quiet, I sat down on the couch and took a deep breath. I reached for the remote that was not there, to turn on the TV that was still in a box to watch a channel that was not being installed until today. I went upstairs and went to sleep. What a miserable night I thought, until I woke up this morning without the hangover of having stayed up until 2am watching Arizona State play another West Coast team at an ungodly East Coast time.

Our Democracy is a Joke...

Stupid question - Do our tax dollars pay the members of Congress' salaries? If so, WHY?

Over the last year or so the only issues I've heard Congress get serious about are Steroids in sports and the BCS system in college football. (Yes, I understand that this is in part because my news source is ESPN News). Do these people have nothing better or more productive to do with their time? This is insane. Soldiers are dying in Iraq, people are dying of cancer from second-hand smoke, gas prices are rising rapidly, there are three syphilitic prostitutes waiting in your office, and many other important societal issues are in need of resolution... and all Congress can think about is who should have played USC last year in the championship game? Come on! Can you make it any more obvious that you are only in search of photo-ops, tickets, money (of course) and publicity?

Politics is a joke. Democracy is a joke. Our own government takes advantage of it. You know what this country needs badly? We need a few years of being ruled by a vicious and violent dictator. We ought to free Sadam Hussein and give him full control of our country for a few years. All it would take is a small dose of that reality to knock our silly asses back into shape. He'd wipe out those annoying feminists faster than underage girls run away from R. Kelly.

It's not just the government either - the crap people in this country spew and get away with is ridiculous. The religious right thinks that because they believe something, everyone has to. Do they ever step back and think about how stupid they sound? These are supposedly some of the most patriotic, democracy-loving people, yet they are trying to influence an entire country with religion. You know who else does that? - The Shah in Iran! and people just love him.

The beauty of democracy is that you get to practice your beliefs openly. You do NOT get to force those beliefs onto others. The 'others' can pick and choose if they want to 'go to hell' as you call it. One of these idiots actually told a small town to expect a natural disaster because they voted against a Referendum he had introduced. Way to win over the constituents asswipe!

The feminists think that they have to force other woman into positions of power within the workplace in order to keep the revolution alive. News flash b**ches, the revolution is over - you won. Some woman make the CHOICE to be stay-at-home-Moms. It is outrageous that they should feel pressure to do otherwise. You fought for the CHOICE, not the right to make the choice for others. Dumb broads... The idea of the feminist movement was to create a situation where a woman could choose to have a career as a man does. This has occurred. The purpose was not to force every woman out of the house. That is not what the original feminists meant by liberation. The house is not a concentration camp that needs liberation.

I've noticed this general decline in our society. Our tolerance level is supposed to be going up as we grow and mature as a country, but the truth is, many of the means implemented to help force along this idea of tolerance have in-fact backfired. People have grown intolerant of freedom of ideas. The marketplace of ideas that is supposed to exist in this country is being shut down by liberals of all people. The conservatives at least speak their minds openly, but instead of just speaking, they are legislating their beliefs. They have turned the concept of Federalism upside down and inside out.

It's a shame that ours is the best system in the world because our system sucks. Freedom is a crazy thing. It allows the wrong people to have a say. It's always going to be the extremists on each side that are the politicians, because the rest of us don't give enough of a damn to get involved. What we need is a sense of moderacy somewhere, and it can never happen in this system. You will never have someone who cares enough about 'nothing' to use it as a political platform.

I'm pretty sure if some wise-ass got up and ran for a political office based on a platform of: "I'm not conservative, I'm not liberal. I'm not right-wing, I'm not left-wing. I don't give a damn if you have an abortion or don't think abortion should be legal. I don't care if you marry a guy or a girl so long as it doesn't cost ME any money" - he or she might actually win.

Whatever - this post sucks, but it was on my mind, so in the interest of being open with my thoughts, there you go...

Dog saves three people from fire, but perishes himself

"BERLIN - A Belgian shepherd dog saved the lives of three people from a burning building by waking them up with loud barks but perished in the flames, apparently because he was afraid to jump out of the window, police said on Wednesday... "

"...The whole top floor apartment was on fire when they jumped out of the window, but the dog unfortunately didn't make it out and was burned to death," he said. "There was so much commotion that the people didn't realize the dog didn't jump with them. They kept shouting his name but he never made it out."

So in other words, the dog is a big pussy and was barking because it was scared out of its mind. The barking happened to wake up people who ran out and were thus saved from a horrible death.

A few things on this:

The dog was scared, not being heroic...

Why didn't anybody take the dog out with them? You obviously heard him barking...

The person who wrote up this story didn't think it sounded moronic to call the dog a hero and in the very same sentence point out that the dog died because it was was scared...

The article headline refers to the dog as "himself". A dog is an "it", not a "he" or "she"...

I mean seriously people, did you really think the dog was barking to warn you and that it would find its own way out? Are you outta your frikkin mind? Pick up the damned dog and run!

Finally - It's a stupid freaking dog who barked because his fur was lit on fire. Why is this news? I bet you some people in the building awoke screaming and probably woke other people up with their screams of fear - are they heroes? or just victims of a tragedy?

An Iranian Reply...

This appeared as a comment on my blog this morning as a response to yesterday's post regarding the airplane crash in Iran. I felt it was worth sharing, along with my response:

--An Iranian said...
You don't feel bad about people getting killed in a residential complex along with over 50 reporters? You see, that's probably the same kind of hatred - but in reverse - many people in the world have about the US and 911. It's a good thing that at least through hatred you come to an understanding of such people. I was for one never made such horrible comments about 911, but I can see why others would.--

--EDS said...
You are an idiot...

On 9-11 Iran celebrated the vicious attack on innocent people. That entire culture celebrated. They no longer deserve to be in the same sentence or thought process as those who died on 9-11, and don't insult those who lost family and friends by trying to insinuate the same.

Don't give me the "residential complex" garbage. When a mother and a baby get shot in Israel in a residential complex - those people celebrate. When a suicide bomber blows himself up in a restaurant - those people celebrate. That is an evil society and you can make any excuse you want to about poverty and leadership, but those people breed hatred and violence.

The people who died on 9-11, or in suicide attacks in Israel do not breed hatred. In fact, they've tried for very long (too long) to look the other way. So how about before you make insulting comparisons between the innocent people who were violently slaughtered on 9-11 and a bunch of animals that live and breed violence and hate, you stop and think for a second?--

Happy Holidays

Iranian military plane hits building, killing 128

"An Iranian military transport plane crashed after clipping a 10-story apartment building as it was trying to make an emergency landing Tuesday, ripping open the top of the structure and igniting a huge fire. At least 128 people were killed — 34 on the ground...."

"...The C-130 aircraft had just taken off from the nearby Mehrabad Airport en route to the southern port of Bandar Abbas. The plane experienced a technical problem and was returning to the airport for an emergency landing when it hit the building, state-run television said."

For the complete article, click the link:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10346431/
____________________________________

- In other news, America and Israel have sent over ten new C-130 aircrafts to Iran to use for similar purposes.

Seriously, is there any normal person in the free world who feels at all bad about this accident?

Not me.

Pompous Jackasses

This is a post I wrote a while back that I feel needs repeating...

Here’s a group of individuals that needs to be eliminated. These exact same people who NEED to be made fun of and abused emotionally, are the very same people who get offended and force such talk out of any medium of communication. These people can be classified quite simply – they are people who take themselves way too seriously.

I don’t like these people. In fact I despise their existence. I spend lots of free time trying to figure out ways to provoke and mistreat them. I figure if they are going to be jackasses, they might as well amuse me, like the real jackasses. The only difference is that on MTV when a “Jackass” burns himself with a cigarette or is force-fed live goldfish, it’s by choice; when these real-life-jackasses I speak of are forced to eat live animals, or are thrown from moving vehicles, it is by MY choice, not theirs.

These are the same idiots who go to town hall meetings and raise their hands to volunteer as chairmen of different community functions. That’s right the shmuck who told you that the fence you want to build around your house may have a zoning issue – he’s not a lawyer, he’s not a judge, he doesn’t even have any authority – he’s simply an a**hole who raised his hand at a meeting of 5 people and volunteered to chair the “Pre-Real Decision, Unimportant Zoning Board”. He gets a business card, stationary and a free prescription of Enzyte. He begins to walk around town with his shoulders held a little higher, and even a slight bounce in his step. This sad human needs to be brought back down to reality. This man needs to be kicked in the nuts.

This is the same type of person who tells you to “please take your seat” at community functions. I am not a two-year old. If I feel like sitting, I’ll sit. If I want to stand, I will stand. If you can’t concentrate on your little uneducated, amateurish rambling because I’m standing when you asked me not to, well that’s too freaking bad. You are a person. You are not more important than any other person in the room. You are very much like the driver who cuts people off on his way to work, and we all know where he ends up. (See Here).

Often times these morons can’t achieve satisfaction in their own personal lives. They never make the school athletic team, they don’t get into their first choice of college and they end up working a dead-end job with little advancement opportunity. They will always have a boss at work, and their wives are constantly telling them what to do. Therefore, under the guise of getting involved in the community, they must take out this frustration of always being a follower on the people around them who do not give a crap.

If you notice, it’s never a happy, successful and fulfilled person who is the self-appointed community bulletin chairman. No – it’s usually a miserable prick. The same miserable prick who coaches your son’s little league team every year even though he doesn’t even have a kid that age (“he loves to coach the kids”). The same prick that comes to community functions wearing his pride in his position as Co-chair of the Society for Acts of Vandalism and Other Rude Behavior on his sleeve along with a gay pin acknowledging the same. He claims to be goal-oriented, but has never achieved a goal in his life. These people need to be phased out. Even if just one at a time. So take a stand. Don’t allow these people to take themselves too seriously at your expense. And if they do, make sure you have a little fun, at their expense…

Sport / Not A Sport...

GEORGE CARLIN AND SPORTS
From George Carlin's book Napalm and Silly Putty

To my way of thinking there are really only three sports: baseball, basketball, and football. Everything else is either a game or an activity.

Hockey comes to mind. People think hockey is a sport. It's not. Hockey is three activities taking place at the same time: ice skating, fooling around with a puck, and beating the sh** out of somebody. If these guys had more brains then teeth, they'd do these things one at a time. First go ice-skating, then fool around with a puck, then you go to the bar and beat the sh** out of somebody. The day would last longer, and these guys would have a lot more fun. Another reason why hockey isn't a sport is that it's not played with a ball. Anything not played with a ball can't be a sport. These are my rules, I make 'em up.

Soccer. Soccer is not a sport because you can't use your arms. Anything where you can't use your arms can't be a sport. Tap dancing isn't a sport. I rest my case.

Running. People think running is a sport. Running isn't a sport because anybody can do it. I can run, you can run. For Christ sakes, my mother can run! You don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated, do you?

Swimming. Swimming isn't a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense. Sailing isn't a sport. Sailing is a way to get somewhere. Riding the bus isn't a sport, why the f**k should sailing be a sport?

Boxing is not a sport either. Boxing is a way to beat the sh** out of somebody. In that respect, boxing is actually a more sophisticated way of hockey. In spite of what the police tell you, beating the shit out of somebody is not a sport. When police brutality becomes an Olympic event, fine, then boxing can be a sport.

Bowling. Bowling isn't a sport because you have to rent shoes. Don't forget, these are my rules. I make 'em up.

Billiards. Some people think billiards is a sport, but it can't be, because there's no chance of serious injury. Unless, of course, you welch on a bet in a tough neighborhood. Then, if you wind up with a pool cue stickin' out of your ass, you know you might be the victim of a sports-related injury. But that ain't billiards, that's pool, and that starts with a P, and that rhymes with D, and that brings me to darts.
Darts could have been a sport, because at least there's a chance to put someone's eye out. But, alas, darts will never be a sport, because the whole object of the game is to reach zero, which goes against all sports logic.

Lacrosse is not a sport; lacrosse is a faggoty college activity. I don't care how rough it is, anytime you're running around a field, waving a stick with a little net on the end of it, you're engaged in a faggoty college activity. Period.

Field hockey and fencing. Same thing. Faggoty college sh**. Also these activities aren't sports, because you can't gamble on them. Anything you can't gamble on can't be a sport. When was the last time you made a f**kin fencing bet?

Gymnastics is not a sport because Romanians are good at it. It took me a long time to come up with that rule, but goddammit, I did it.

Polo isn't a sport. Polo is golf on horseback. Without holes. It's a great concept, but not a sport. And as far as water polo is concerned, I hesitate to even mention it, because it's extremely cruel to horses.

Which brings me to hunting. You think hunting is a sport? Ask the deer. The only good thing about hunting is the many fatal accidents on the weekends. And, of course, the permanently disfigured hunters who survive such accidents.

Then you have tennis. Tennis is very trendy and very fruity, but it's not a sport. It's just a way to meet other trendy fruits. Technically, tennis is an advanced form a Ping-Pong. In fact, tennis is Ping-Pong played while standing on the table. Great concept, not a sport.
In fact, all racket games are nothing more the derivatives of Ping-Pong. Even volleyball is, technically, racketless, team Ping-Pong played with an inflated ball and raised net while standing on the table.

And finally welcome to golf. For my full take on golf, I refer you elsewhere in the book, but let it just be said golf is a game that might possibly be fun, if it could be played alone. But it's the vacuous, striving, superficial, male-bonding joiners one has to associate with that makes it such a repulsive pastime. And it is decidedly not a sport. Period.